How do you help a depressed teen when you're depressed yourself?

[Billyandharry]

Just how do you help them when you are already feeling awful yourself. Long term depression and anxiety - well managed but always bubbling away. Seeing dd so unhappy is like a knife in my heart and sends me spiralling. How do I look after her/help her whilst taking care of myself? Am at my wit's end.

Anyone?

Sorry to hear you are both struggling. I out sourced support for DS when I couldn't be his emotional sounding board. He had a weekly counsellor on line and face to face support via school. He also went to a youth club for kids with ASD. So he had various out lets and other adults around him. I could then be mum and just love him. We got through a difficult time together.

I totally feel your pain, OP. Very similar situation here and I have no answers, I'm afraid. My DD is 15 and incredibly unhappy. It's really affecting her schoolwork as well as her personal life but she won't accept any help. No counselling, not willing to consider any lifestyle changes etc. It's so hard...

Thanks for replies. Yes it is bloody hard. I've tried to 'outsource' a bit of support and got a counsellor for her. It just makes me cry and then she feels bad/guilty which is the last thing she needs. I just don't have the resilience:(

Take up a hobby together that's also a skill eg rock climbing, ice skating or playing piano and do it every week at a set time. Then take her out for a meal or a coffee once a week on a different day and talk about the hobby. That way she can see herself improving at something and she has a routine time to talk to her mum about something positive.

@NewtonsCradle hmmm I hear you but we have neither the time , energy or money. If only it was that simple.

The first step is the hardest. It's not simple, it's really hard and you can do it.

Running, yoga from YouTube, baking or crafting together?