Party ground rules

[hopeishere]

If you've let your 16 year old have a party in the house what sort of ground rules have you agreed on?

watching with interest!

I let her invite 30-35 people, no more than that and made it clear that gate crashers would be turned away. Finish time at 12. We provided some alcohol (I know Mumsnet thinks no alcohol for 16 year olds, but in real life I think it's better to provide it in controlled amounts otherwise they'll bring it with them) - DH found some 2% bottles of beer, and I made jugs of punch with a little bit of vodka and lots of fruit juice. This seemed to work - no one was sick anyway! DH and I stayed in the house but made ourselves scarce. I think that's it.

Thanks! We are in a negotiation phase at the minute!! There will be alcohol 🤷🏻‍♀️. We can confine them downstairs (no carpets!!).

We’re planning one now. Similar rules to the above to which we’ve added any hint of weed or other drugs then everyone will be sent home immediately. We’ll permit vaping but only outside.

The only reason to come upstairs will be to use the bathrooms and me and DH will be in the house all night.

I'd want to know the contact info of at least one parent or guardian for each guest, just in case something happens.

Provide a small amount of alcohol and check they don't bring more in. No drugs, no shagging and clear up at the end of the night. I'd also stay at home OP, upstairs in case of gate crashers etc.

You're very brave! hope it goes well.

Also, get your child to message friends to say that limited amount of alcohol will be provided before the party. Then if any parents are against teenage drinking, they can’t say that they didn’t know it was going to be there. Obviously the teens won’t tell their parents, but that’s not your problem.

Will definitely be staying at home! Luckily our sitting room is upstairs!

The pattern seems to be they bring their own alcohol with them - so I assume their parents know what they are leaving the house with!!

I can't see DS wanting to get parent contact info.

My other worry is that he invites people and they don't turn up. But I'm maybe projecting there...

Agree the numbers and make sure that is adhered to
make sure your address is not given out to the attendees until just before the party (my DD social circle all did this)
keep them in the garden (appreciate this worked for us as have a summer DD)
do not let in the house under any circumstances (we hired portaloos - had them
on the driveway)
I didn’t provide any alcohol (other than for my own DD). For me I didn’t feel comfortable providing for underage, some of who I knew had parents that absolutely did not approve. I figured if they brought their own then that was as their parents sanctioned it, but I wasn’t being responsible.
provide quick & easy food - pizza & chips
& plenty of soft drinks (to dilute the vodka that they’ll sneak in in a shampoo bottle / they’ll likely do this whether you provide alcohol or not!)
agree a finish time and stick to it - & tell the neighbours
Be home - and make your presence known sporadically.

my DD’s 16th passed off without incident

My son has his 16th at home.

There was a limit of 20 attendees. In the end I think we had about 15.
Invited guests only. DH stood at the front door with ds as people arrived.
Absolutely no alcohol. No large bags to be brought and I reserved the right to do a bag check (I didn't but they didn't know that)
No-one to go upstairs
Me and dh were in attendance.

Thanks. There's not going to be so many we need portaloos! Outside isn't really an option I also don't want our lovely garden trashed!

There will be alcohol I know that.

You see no alcohol was my non negotiable. There was alcohol for his 18th even though there were 17 year olds attending but that was much smaller, maybe 6-8 attendees.

Yeah I totally respect that and it's amazing the kids were happy with it too. But the parties he has been to have all had alcohol so I've accepted it's part of it.

The parties my son had been to had alcohol too. But everyone accepted my rules. It was a good party, glad it happened actually as lockdown happened a month later.

I would want that, but at that age it won't happen so if you make it a hard line the party will not happen either.

DD age 16 is having a halloween party on the weekend! They are in 6th form.

We are putting asmall marquee up in the garden and they will also use the conservatory and access the downstair bathroom via the french doors in the study.

Me and DH will be home but wont interfere unless something happens.

I am not providing party alcohol but accept they will bring it with them and will get a small amount for DD.

guests are 20 confirmed and a handful of maybes.

Providing snacks and party bags (requested!) which I will pop a small bottle of water in for way home. I am also going to make sure they all have lifts home or walking in a group, if not me or DH will pop them home.

I have said music needs to be turned off at 11:30 but can carry on a little longer.

Just to come back to this. He had the party. There were about 16 there. I provided the equivalent of two drinks per person (plus pizza and snacks). They brought A LOT more alcohol with them. It was very loud (someone brought a speaker) and that was the only thing I found annoying.

I popped down a few times. But overall it was fine. Everyone had left by 12.15.

Phew! Sounds good OP.

My daughters party also went ok. They did karaoke which was loud but no out of control or throwing up drunk people. A couple stayed to help tidy up a bit and only took us kist over an hour the mext morning to competely tidy up and that included packing away all the decorations (and there was a lot!)

I'm curious what do you do if some of your DC's friends are throwing up and sick.

I left them to it. They were upright and conscious. He was in the garden and my son and a friend hosed it away.

Clean up: Expect the house to be cleaned up and in order by the end of the party. Assign tasks or set a time for cleanup.
Respectful behavior: Emphasize that there’s zero tolerance for bullying, violence, or anything that makes others uncomfortable.
Private areas: Some areas of the house (like parents’ bedrooms or offices) may be off-limits.

Closed group chat party with strict number limit - they know what this means

Clear end point ie midnight.

You remain on premises but upstairs.

We only did it after Dd had been to several
similar parties at others houses with same
group and they had passed without incident. Speak to other parents for tips.

I checked every 30 mins any teen visibly drunk rang parents to collect - to be fair the teens already had done for the drunkest girl!