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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

DS15 anxiety over school and wanting to do so much of his own stuff

5 replies

AFingerofFudge · 14/10/2024 23:48

I'll try to explain this as well and briefly as I can.
DS3, who is 15, has quite a lot of anxiety around school. It's his GCSE year, and so far he hasn't performed well in exams, he just crumbles on the day, even if he knows the stuff.
He has a real thirst for learning outside of school. Most of the lessons he does at school he sees as a waste of time and getting in the way of things he actually wants to do. He is into music, is learning the piano and the saxophone. He does drama classes. He goes to the gym. He started teaching himself Japanese a couple of years ago and once we realised how serious he was taking it we found a tutor for him. He loves the things he does outside of school and refuses to drop any of them however he is getting so stressed with not having time for all the things he wants to do. He has gone to bed this evening in such a state because he hasn't done all the things and just kept repeating "I don't have time, i don't have enough time". I'm worried about the pressure he's putting on himself and wonder if anyone else has experienced this?
It sounds as though it's "nice" to have a teenager interested in so many things, but after going through the mill with DS2
in other ways, I feel like I'm poorly equipped to deal with this one. Any thought appreciated!!

OP posts:
Flanjango · 15/10/2024 00:00

The school curriculum and environment just doesn't suit all. It's very limited and pressurised. Some learn better other ways and there's no harm in that. He's got interests and that's a good thing.

BobbyBiscuits · 15/10/2024 00:04

Could he go to an FE college and study something vocational, or do an apprenticeship, a Btec in something relating to his out of school passions?
Not everyone gets on well in a strictly academic setting. But he's got strong interests which is great, so hopefully he could try and get a career around one of those.
He could start by offering to do work experience for his hobby groups or the companies/ organisations that run them?
Is he into music? Building things? Tech stuff?

ImNoSuperman · 15/10/2024 00:07

Why isn't he taking GCSE music, drama and PE?

CookiePookie · 15/10/2024 00:10

It sounds like he knows very clearly what he wants to learn about; home education could be an excellent fit for him. There is no time limit on taking GCSEs - he could drop them all and revisit later depending on his long term plans. The school might consider him doing work at home towards a number of GCSEs, and just sitting the actual exams in school. He sounds so keen to learn, but it doesn’t sound like traditional school is a great fit and other options are available! His mental health is top priority. If you do go for HE, Education Otherwise is a good starting point for info.

AFingerofFudge · 15/10/2024 00:24

Thanks for the replies.
He didn't take PE as he hates sports! He goes to the gym because he doesn't like football, rugby etc.
He couldn't take drama as it was in the same column (when picking options) as French and he decided to do that instead, and because he has drama classes outside of school he felt that was the best idea.
He has taken GCSE music, and he is enjoying that, but apart from music and computer science, he doesn't get much joy from the day to day school life. He has friends, but his close friends are friends from his hobbies outside of school.
I will look into HE, however I'm not sure how much time I would have (me and DH work full time, and I do shift work) to
help with that.

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