When do they calm down and are nice?

[Flyhigher]

My DD17 is still pretty verbally aggressive especially around pmt week and after a drink.

When do they calm down?

Tbf my DH is the same after a drink.

So any advice or help?

Are there any consequences for the aggression? Why are you letting her get drunk, especially if she can't handle it?

Is her dad an alcoholic or aggressive? It could be learnt behaviour.

I think it depends on their general maturity, I would expect it to happen In the next few years tbh

My teenage son yelled at me earlier for breathing, it's so annoying apparently. I am hoping to be able to breathe without annoying him when he reaches his 20s!

Being verbally aggressive isn't necessarily something you grow out of, unfortunately. Otherwise your husband would have grown out of it. If she's living under your roof and expecting to be fed and looked after, you need to impose sanctions if she's rude and aggressive. She needs to learn that people won't do what she wants if she's horrible to them.

It’s gets easier when they move out

Am I the only one with a teen like this?
And husband like this?

This sounds awful OP and no it's not normal. Neither my DH or DS16 have ever been verbally abusive when drunk. They are both happy and relaxed. I've had acquaintances who become nasty when drunk so I've seen it happen and they're not people I'd socialise with by choice because of that.

Sorry I don't have any advice.

None of my kids are perfect, but I would never, ever have tolerated verbal aggression. Ever. Nor from my husband. Can you give an example?

There is no ‘still’ about it. Aggression and abuse is vile and unacceptable.