DD 14 is utterly dependent on friends

[PoopednPastit]

I'm frustrated both for my DD, and by her! I do remember what it's like to be 14, but I'm worried she's missing out because of her shyness. We have an event booked that she asked to do and has been looking forward to, but hasn't been able to persuade any friends to join her. Now she's wanting to pull out "because she won't know anyone". I'm not going to force her to do it, I'm just worried she's missing out: this isn't the first time, although this time it's cost us non-refundable money. Anyone been in a similar position, and any tips? I know if I could persuade her to brave the initial discomfort she'd love it.

Sometimes you do have to push them, that’s part of parenting. Tell her she is going, you’ll be there and you’ll both leave if she hates it but she must give it a try first. She asked to go, you’ve spent the money and she needs to understand that and realise that she must stick to her commitments, even if just to give them a try.

Yes, I agree with the previous poster about pushing her into going. The more things she tries, the easier it will eventually get. We've probably all walked into a room full of strangers so it's a good experience to have knowing that you've survived it ok.

My teen DS is incredibly shy and has virtually no friends but I got him to try going to different activities to meet new people. Generally he goes once then decides it's not for him.

Last year I drove him to a youth group session that had been cancelled at the last minute with a note on the door. I felt so sorry for him as I'd 'bigged' it up a bit. However, the following week, he decided to try again and took himself there after school (quite a long walk) and it was open. He really enjoyed it and has been going weekly ever since. I was so proud that he went there on his own. 😊