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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

18th birthday

5 replies

cherrysponge · 02/10/2024 16:30

My DD turns 18 in a few weeks. She has persuaded me and DH to have a party for her. This has turned into a big thing. No local pub/venue were prepared to do an 18th so we're doing a marquee in the garden. I'm ok with it-It's going to be expensive but it's what she wants. And we can afford it.
We decided on a Saturday a few weeks after her actual birthday.
She has just casually mentioned that she has been invited to someone else's birthday party which is on her actual birthday and intends to go. I said I was a bit sad that she didn't want to have a family gathering to celebrate on her birthday (with her younger sister, Grandma and my sister)
Obviously she is an adult and of course can do whatever she wants on her birthday but AIBU to be sad and miffed that she's fine with me organising a party for her when it suits her but won't celebrate with us. As from next year she'll probably be away at university so this is kind of her last one at home.
When do teenagers stop being so selfish?

OP posts:
MoneyAndPercentages · 02/10/2024 16:37

It's her birthday! Literally the only day everyone is entitled to be selfish. I'm 100% selfish on my birthday, and I'm no longer a teen ;)

Can you do something earlier in the day? A nice brunch out etc?

Overtheatlantic · 02/10/2024 16:40

I agree with pp. let her enjoy her 18th in the way she wishes and then gladly give her the special party she has requested.

Overtheatlantic · 02/10/2024 16:41

the only thing I remember from my 18th birthday is that my mother sent me a dozen red roses. It was such a huge surprise and treat.

MrSeptember · 02/10/2024 16:42

I understand why you feel sad, but also, this is pretty normal. I am now nearly 50 and my family birthday celebration is almost always at whatever date is more convenient for me.

Also, in this case, assuming it's an 18th as well, no one is going to turn down a friend's 18th birthday party in order to spend the evening with mum and dad.

I'd discuss with her now what dates you're going to do something as a family. Perhaps the day before or the day after and book it in.

TeenToTwenties · 02/10/2024 16:44

Do a lunchtime celebration with her, then she goes to friends party in the evening?

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