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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Constantly “bent over a barrel”

7 replies

Lollylucyclark101 · 23/09/2024 18:36

So… my son is 17.

For his 16th Birthday we brought him a 50cc moped. That’s what he wanted, and as it was a big birthday, we decided to splash out. It was second hand, but in excellent condition and wasn’t even 3 years old. We brought all the kit…. Helmet, gloves, jacket etc.

My son was responsible for the tax and insurance. Before we knew it, he had insured and taxed it and was off out and about.

Not even a month later, I found a “last request” for £170 for his insurance and when I asked about it, he said “oh, I have to call them”….. so we did together. The insurance told me he had lied about his age and said he was 18, then tried to set up a DD to his bank account, but the bank refused it. So he had given them my details and they had put the credit agreement in MY NAME! (I don’t know how! As they were not supposed to!) and that because his bank account was a child’s account he had missed a payment…… he was also technically “uninsured!”, for nearly a month of riding.

After arguing, and him saying “I’d just ride it anyway” (I didn’t want him to get in trouble, or a criminal record and felt bullied into it) I sorted it out for him and paid the extra (he paid me back) and I stressed that what he did was illegal and dangerous! He had also chosen the most basic -third party, meaning he would be left without a bike if he crashed.

Fast forward another month….. I’ve had 2 calls from the police, the bikes got a “marker” and he’s had it impounded….. and he had to pay £290 to get it out. He’s also “tinkered” with it, come off once; causing the engine to flood… it sounds like crap, he’s spray painted it BADLY, the engine light is on and he says “it’s crap” and “too slow”.
He sold it for half what we paid for it.

Anyway…this month….. he’s suddenly wanted to buy another bike from a “friend”. He put down a deposit….. we only found out because we overheard him talking about it. I asked how he was insuring it and he said “I’ll sort it”…… I said to him I would let him have the credit agreement in my name and the payments coming out of my account, so long as he let ME sort out proper insurance for him.
Hes had a whole week to sort it out…… today he comes home early from college (he didn’t pass his GCSEs and didn’t do well at college last year) so I was really annoyed and then he said…. “I had to come home because I’m trying to sort out my insurance and they need to speak to you”….. at this point I forgot about the quotes I had got and just had his phone thrust in my face. (I was also working and in a meeting! But wanted him back at college)…… so just said yes, thinking he had done the right thing and got fully comprehensive insurance……. So sorted it out and he went to back to college…….. I then had the documents through, which details crappy third party again!…. He also NEVER went back to college.

Third party! After we told him he couldn’t keep it in the garage because he just messes and eats everything (we keep snacks and drinks and alcohol out there)… so he’s kicked off saying we are selfish and they tried to say he had spoken to his dad about it when he hadn’t.

I feel like I am constantly over the barrel all the time. I don’t want him to ruin his future by getting in trouble with the law and he KNOWS it. Am I going to be the AH if I just say “no more!”

OP posts:
TeenToTwenties · 23/09/2024 18:40

Cancel the insurance and impound the bike? He doesn't sound responsible enough to own it.

poppyzbrite4 · 23/09/2024 18:43

I would refuse to insure it and refuse to let him ride it without insurance. He sounds immature, completely irresponsible and a traffic accident just waiting to happen.

Hawkerslife · 23/09/2024 18:44

No you're not going to be the arsehole if you say no more. He's a kid and you're the parent. I'd take away his bike and let him know in no uncertain terms that he will only get it back once he's grown up and decided what he's doing with his life. (Maybe I am the arsehole?!)

I know it's cliche, but sometimes you really do have to be cruel to be kind.

Tumbler2121 · 23/09/2024 18:44

make It clear to him that you will never again bail him out of any financial, or any other messes that are entirely his fault. If you do, you are teaching him there are no consequences.

roseymoira · 23/09/2024 18:54

Why on earth would you trust this idiot on a bike?

Where is he riding it anyway? Riding it up and down through housing estates so the poor residents have to listen to it I imagine.

He hasn't proved he is responsible enough to be on the road at all. Bike should be removed.

offyoujollywelltrot · 23/09/2024 18:58

Genuinely don't know why you're being such a doormat over this. No bike for him. Once he's 18 he can do what he likes in his own name. Right now he's taking the piss.

Stand your ground.

Lollylucyclark101 · 23/09/2024 20:10

It’s his bike, he’s brought it with his own money. I’m not paying for his insurance . He is. He has a job and his own money.

he’s also 17, nearly 18 year old.

Police have advised that I cannot take his property from him, besides he’s bigger than me and I’m scared of him. How exactly am I taking the key?!

He rides his bike on the road. To get to and from work and to and from college.

One call from the police was when he fell off and the other was when he ended up on the motorway accidentally after getting lost.

I have made it clear to him that I will not bail him out of anything.

he’s not coming home tonight as we won’t allow him to put it in the garage….. he doesn’t want to leave it outside in case it’s stolen.

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