Teens not going to sixth form and inquiring family members

[Ineedaholidayagain]

I have twin boys in year 11 so the talk at the moment is next steps. One is not academic and we're looking at vocational courses post 16 so we're doing college open days etc. The other is more academic but doesn't want to do a levels so same college open days and discussions about b tech etc.
We have some family members in the wider family who are extremely well meaning but keep asking about 6th form. I've said we're looking at colleges and other options that the teens want to do. I'm not pushing them into something they either cannot access or will hate just because it's a common option. Also university is not on the cards at 18 for either boy , I'm hoping for meaningful work and happiness. There's plenty of time to do more qualifications if they want too when they are older.
How can I articulate this but still encourage the teens to do their best, I do feel getting the best gcse results now helps in later life, even if it's more than the bare minimum.
Also is it normal to have no idea at 16 what to do after school? DH and I knew what we wanted to do ( I had a 10 year plan) but maybe we're just odd.

I hate this idea that it’s A levels then University and anything else is viewed as somehow less. It’s not, if everyone was a Dr, accountant, lawyer etc. there would be no carpenters, electricians, mechanics etc.

I always say it’s about what is right for the child/person and that I strongly support alternative options such as vocational routes, apprenticeships, skills based training etc. It’s much more important to be happy in their chosen profession when they will potentially be working 40+ years.

You could point out they won’t have student loan debts but will be earning much earlier.

I don't think you need to articulate anything other than your boys are choosing to go on to college when they have completed their GCSEs.

There's nothing else to explain or justify. College is a perfectly normal next step.

We had this. Our oldest is bright but not built to sit at a desk and study. He left school after getting a decent set of GCSEs and went to a local FE college to do a BTech (not one that school offered). He’s now very happy doing a level 3 apprenticeship.
The ILs in particular seemed to think that this wasn’t a good route for him. I politely asked them to keep their thoughts and negativity to themselves. Funnily enough, now that they can see how happy dc is and how he’s thriving they have shifted their mindset.
There are plenty of routes other then the traditional or most obvious ones to look at and if your dc can find ones that suit them then that’s the main thing - definitely not what other people think

My son has qualifications for uni but knows it’s not for him, he summed it up perfectly last night, there are different types of clever and I’m clever enough to find my own way!

"Isn't it great there are so many options open to them nowadays? Far better than when we/you were their age."

Bright smile, firmly change the subject.

Honestly, this pushing of A levels then University is completely wrong for so many young people. If they are practical a college course or apprenticeship would be far better (and probably earn them more money in the long run).

I thought you were going to say family members were commenting negatively but you didn't. It seems like you might be underneath a bit uncertain if this is the best way forward for them?

It's not negative as such, just that it was such an odd thing not to go to 6th form that I could have said we're looking at Mars.
For one child some vocational courses would be great for him,he's into drama, theatre and photography so that's our starting point.
For the other he has ability but no drive so a levels would force him to try hard, but if he doesn't want to do it I'm not going to force him. I think that's the bit family members don't understand, why I'm not forcing an able child to do it, but I don't see the point. He's more likely to try hard at something he's interested in. At least his plan of being a professional footballer has become more realistic.

I found just stating it as a fact and leaving them to their opinions worked best. If they really push you have discussed options and this is the best option for them, they are happy and that is the most important thing. Also maybe explain what the options can lead too, I think BTecs are often seen as ‘below’ a levels but they are still a root to uni and often offer work experience and a different learning style which is more suitable than pure academic learning

My DGS has just started an electrical course at college. He's enjoying it, he's never been academic. The point I'm making is that this year, unusually, a large number his pals, young folks who are capable of good a levels and uni are on the same and similar courses, they have decided they want to earn, maybe have their own business in the future, and no massive student debt. So I wonder if their parents had similar reactions by family that's you are experiencing.

If the government is going to go ahead with their promise of building a lot of houses, then I'd be encouraging them to learn a trade. There are so many complaints both on here and amongst my friends and family about really crap trades people, so if you think they could work hard at it then I'd definitely encourage that.

For your son who likes theatre etc, he could be an electrician working on film sets or in the theatre. There are tons of interesting jobs out there and lots of opportunities to set up your own business, too.