15 year old boys!

[DayDreamer324]

I really struggle to communicate with my 15 year old boy.

I fell pregnant with him, my first at the age of 17, had him when I was 18. He was an angel, apple of my eye. I couldn't of asked for a better boy!

When he was 7 I went on to have 2 more fairly close together.

Now he's a 15 years old, sometimes I feel distracted by the younger 2 and he doesn't get as much attention, obviously (I assume) he's ok with this at his age as he doesn't care too much for my attention anymore.

I find it hard to communicate with him, sometimes I feel like I do nothing but moan at him. I get a very 'don't speak to me' attitude from him.
I want to find common ground (occasionally I do and he's a different kid and I love it) I want to be able to chat and not just moan.
Sometimes I feel like I'm mourning the child I once had. Is this just what happens as they turn into teenagers or has something gone wrong?

They don't want your attention but they do want to be noticed and valued.

They don't want to be treated like kids but they do want to know that you are there if they have problems and that you care.

I wouldn't assume he's ok with all your focus being on the youngest.

All my focus is not on the younger ones, they just take up a larger percentage of it because a 7 year old and a 5 year old are more demanding

It’s hard! One way I’ve always got my ds (now 18) to talk is by being in the car with him, just us. This would generally be when picking him up/dropping him off at places. As he got older the later pick ups (from parties/social events) would be the most productive. So if he wants to go places/needs lifts, say yes!

@crazycrofter that's good advice, I have found this. They're almost cornered into having a chat. We have such a nice time when we are altogether and he's such a good boy. It's dragging him away from his girlfriend/PlayStation/mates/phone that's the problem.

I find opening a book or being just about to go to bed the best time. It draws him like a magnet. We don't do what's going on in his life though- he likes to talk politics or school subjects. He's very, very private. I have to use my informants to find out what he's actually up to.