Teenager tempers

[CleverSloth]

What to do if a teen who is more than capable of doing things, refuses to go to school, refuses to help in the house, just wants to spend all time on devices.
When devices are to be taken away for behaviour teen lashes out and bruises mum, verbal, physical and emotional attacks. Mum is too afraid to even ask teen to have a shower somedays to avoid teenage dramas and abuse.
Single mum tries everything to make sure they are happy, food, clothes, clean house, everything a child needs. But teen is just dismissive and very much 'me, me, me' if it isn't their way it's no way and has major tantrums. Dad doesn't want to bother and is wrapped up in his new family yo have the time. And when he does see teen it makes situation worse for mum.
Advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks.

I’d speak to school, GP & next time they laid a finger on me I’d call the police!

Many years ago my dad knew a family who were similar. The brother & sister ended up having a fight one evening when the mum wasn’t there & the sister stabbed her brother in the leg! Mum had also over the teenage years been hit by her children ect. The daughter now my age, went on to have her own children & ended up in prison for child abuse. It needs knocking on the head now, before the child thinks this is a way to go through life.

If taking away devices for behaviour results in violence than I'd stop taking them away.

Presumably there is a backstory as this teen is not attending school.

Autism? Anxiety? Eating disorder?

Generally in cases like this there are mh issues and so mum's most important job is to deal with those.

@ZippyLimeSnake It's just so hard. School won't listen. GP never has appointments and social workers are just tied down so much.

Take it one day at a time

@Octavia64 Attachment disorder and possible ADHD.

Background, everytime Mum disaplined from a young age, Dad would undermine it all and caused ructions in the house. They Dad left and saw her probably a maximum of 48 hours across the space of a year. So a lot of resentment is there when mum tries anything. Mum getting the blame for Dad leaving. Etc.

Even the slightest comment or being asked to do something is a trigger because "I don't care" "It's not my mess"

Jealousy over sibling being able to help with homework despite sibling being a lot younger. Breakdown of friendship groups and weight gain due to comfort eating and not exercising is all triggers for this behaviour.

Get rid of the devices altogether. Clearly not mature enough to handle them.

So does the child receive any mental health support at all?

I am not sure of your area but you can Google local children’s mental health services to find your local place & speak to them if you’re struggling to get support.

Also look at Mind as they should also be able to point you in the right direction of some help.

Been on a school counciling list for 2 years, with no closer. Numerous calls to the school.

Trying to refer to CAMHS at the moment.

Thank you for your help.