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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

How do you support your non-academic child to decide his career path?

24 replies

SirChenjins · 07/09/2024 10:18

DS2, non-academic (1Higher pass this year in PE), hasn’t got a clue what he wants to do beyond some vague ‘business studies’ at college or university (probably college at the end of sixth year after sitting more Highers). He’s the very last person who should be in an office-type environment but refuses to consider other options such as apprenticeships or the forces . Doesn’t want to take a year out to travel and consider his options as he wants to be close to his family and friends.

I’m at my wits end with him. He’s a really lovely lad, is well behaved, easy going, very polite and kind, just absolutely no clue and seems to be burying his head in the sand. Gets quite cross if we try to raise the subject with him.

Anyone been through this and can advise?

OP posts:
parentingisstressful · 07/09/2024 10:20

Has he done any work experience? How about supporting him in arranging a variety of work experience days and see if it can help narrow things down a bit for him?

Putmeinsummer · 07/09/2024 10:23

Encourage him to look more specifically. Business studies is a very broad degree. Get him to look at the departments within a business school (finance, accountancy, marketing, sometimes economics, HR, entrepreneurship, international business) to see if he wants to do a specific route. Ones that lead to accreditation of some sort (accountancy, cipd) are typically better linked to employment.

But business studies is also academic it's essays and exams, it's understanding Harvard referencing and providing critical analysis of management theory.

What are his natural skills? Is he sporty? Creative? Logical? That can help you pinpoint broader areas to drill down on.

parentingisstressful · 07/09/2024 10:24

Would he be interested in roles like Countryside ranger, animal care (zoo/wildlife park), greenskeeper (golf)? Or working with National Trust, RNLI, Meteorologist?

stayathomer · 07/09/2024 10:28

We got an email from the school the other day that lifted me no end, reminding us that while they’re supporting the children to do their best in exams, and get to their desired courses, every person has their own paths, be it a different type of college or apprenticeship or straight into the world of work. They also reminded us that at their age not everyone knows what they want to do. I’m job hunting at the mo and sat down with ds and we clicked into loads of different jobs to see what ones he thought sounded ok. Maybe do that, and remember they all get somewhere in the end!!

HarrietJonesFlydaleNorth · 07/09/2024 10:30

I would second the work experience or work shadowing. It helped one of mine realise some of the harsher realities of what he thought he wanted to do!
My eldest did need some gentle but still quite plain talking at one point to get him to realise that post 16 academic subjects weren't his best option and that some of the things he wanted to do just wouldn't be possible.

Tulipvase · 07/09/2024 10:30

One of mine is similar. He did pass enough exams to get into sixth form but I’m not convinced it’s the right decision. But he wants to try so I’m supporting him. He also doesn’t have a clue as to what he wants to do long term.

He did have a place at college as a back up which was a public/uniformed services Btech. Might be worth looking to see if any of your local colleges offer something like that.

Elisheva · 07/09/2024 10:31

I think we assume that children understand the world of adults, all the options available, different career paths/career types, but they don’t. The only jobs they are familiar with are the ones that they have encountered, which is why so many children want to be nurses/doctors/teachers, and whatever their parents do. They literally have no idea what it is like to work, or all the wonderful opportunities available to them. And it’s so big and so scary that it’s easier to avoid it.
My ds is 17 and we are just deciding that he probably won’t be going to university, certainly not straight away, so we are exploring the other options. He had a voluntary job over the summer, which I arranged, which has been brilliant for both his self esteem and for starting to understand what a job might involve. We have started to make a list of things he definitely wants in his job, and things he definitely doesn’t want. And then look for possibilities around that. Does he want to work days/nights/weekends - my son wasn’t really aware that there is flexibility in hours worked. Work at home, inside, outside, involve travelling, stay near home etc. etc.
Are there any careers fairs he could go to?

DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 07/09/2024 10:35

Has he thought about a Modern Apprenticeship? He can do one in Business Administration. It’s on the job assessment and assignments rather than exams, and if he discovers, as you expect, that he hates working a 9-5, it’s not the end of the world if he hands in his notice and enrols on a fitness instructor course!

cheapskatemum · 07/09/2024 10:37

DS3 was similar. We got a private company that specialised in helping people decide what qualification/career path they wanted to take. I think they were called Morisby. The woman who came was lovely & chatted to him, went through some psychometric tests, asked him a few more questions.

He did a Level 3 in Construction & the Built Environment, an apprenticeship in an estate agents & is now a successful estate agent in London.

Doingmybest12 · 07/09/2024 10:45

Its hard, we found school woeful at supporting anything except potential uni routes. What is it about business that interests him, does he have potential to learn a skill or find an opportunity for his own business in the future. Good idea to visit career fairs, would be start just looking at indeed to get an idea of jobs. There are so many jobs, ones I have not heard of or know what they are. TBH though if he has a motivation towards anything, then if college do a course at his level which they will have some kind of fit, encourage that and he will figure it out and progress some how. I wouldn't crush the business idea just because you can't see him in a traditional office. It's no longer jobs for life and any skills will be helpful and adaptable.

Original poster
SirChenjins · 07/09/2024 11:15

Thanks for all the suggestions, I really appreciate it.

Work experience is difficult as he’s in school full time and works one day at the weekend (as a result of that he knows he definitely doesn’t want to work in retail). DH has offered him work experience but he’s not interested in that type of business (accountancy/tax). I’ve tried looking at jobs with him but he goes into panic mode and gets cross (he’s usually incredibly easy going so when he gets cross we know it’s time to back off). Tried to speak to him about the different business routes (DH did economics, law and commerce at uni, now in private practice with 40 years of business experience to draw on) but he doesn’t know what he wants to do specifically, just keeps saying ‘business’. I’ve shown him the different apprenticeship options but no, ‘business’ at college or uni - even though he’s not academic (I’m not writing him off, it’s just a fact - although that might change as he matures) . He likes playing football, Xbox and going out for food and shopping with his friends or girlfriend on a Saturday during the day. He’s got simple tastes really!

He’s our youngest (8 and 10 years gap between the older 2) and he seems so immature and clueless compared to them at his age - and we don’t know how to advise him as he just doesn’t seem to want to engage, I think it’s all overwhelming for him.

I’ll look at career fairs (if I can get him there) and a private careers guidance company - his school is useless, unless the pupil has a clear idea about what they want to do at uni or as a trade they seem a bit lacking in ideas. Maybe I just need to step back and let him do a business course at college, and hope he figures it all out for himself in time.

OP posts:
Original poster
SirChenjins · 07/09/2024 11:40

Oh that’s fantastic @Hatfullofwillow - very never heard of this! He’s doing a coaching qualification at school this year so will show him now, thank you! 😊

OP posts:
Original poster
SirChenjins · 07/09/2024 11:45

I’ve just shown that to him, it’s the most interested he’s been in anything to date!

OP posts:
DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 07/09/2024 12:24

That course sounds like a great find! He could get onto the foundation year with BCC at Higher. Is he likely to achieve that? Straight on to the degree would be more like BBCC.

He’d probably have to pay tuition fees and well as living costs if going to England though. And move away - sounds like he wasn’t up for that?

18 is too early for some young people to go to uni. A college course and/or a bit of work in sports coaching, life guarding etc for a few years might be what he needs, then he can go on to uni if ready and able at 20-21.

Are you ok with the prospect that he might never be a high achiever? It sounds like he has more support to fall-back on than most kids who aren’t very driven, but it might also be a lot of pressure if parents and siblings are all high achievers.

Original poster
SirChenjins · 07/09/2024 12:56

@DownThePubWithStevieNicks the moving away thing might be a problem next year, but perhaps he might feel more able to do that in a couple of years once he sees his friends moving away and feels more confident - I’ll look into that. Tuition fees are an issue but I think we’re resigned to supporting him more than the other 2 who were more academically inclined and went straight to uni - a couple of inheritances after parents passed away will ease that burden.

We’re absolutely ok with him not being a high achiever - we want him to be happy doing something that he loves, whatever that turns out to be.

OP posts:
Putmeinsummer · 07/09/2024 14:59

Birkbeck do a course on football analytics I believe

Lampzade · 07/09/2024 15:12

SirChenjins · 07/09/2024 11:45

I’ve just shown that to him, it’s the most interested he’s been in anything to date!

Aaaaaaw that is lovely.

Lampzade · 07/09/2024 15:19

Definitely think that he would benefit from taking some time out and not rushing to go to university

MurdoMunro · 07/09/2024 15:21

parentingisstressful · 07/09/2024 10:24

Would he be interested in roles like Countryside ranger, animal care (zoo/wildlife park), greenskeeper (golf)? Or working with National Trust, RNLI, Meteorologist?

All of those jobs require degrees though (except RNLI boat crew, which is voluntary so…)

Florafleur · 07/09/2024 15:23

Talents and interests. Seems sport? Anything else?

Sometimes we need someone else to recognise what we are good at.

My DC’s followed their talents post degree. ( not sure why they completed the degree?!). They are very content in jobs they like and enjoy.

weebarra · 07/09/2024 15:24

I know you said school are useless it has he had a chat with his SDS careers adviser at school? They are all qualified careers advisers who have lots of experience of many different routes and pathways. Also have a look at the My world of work website.

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