Do you allow your teen to be a mini adult?

[Joedd]

My 14 year old DD is quite introverted and mostly covers herself up - even in summer will wear joggers and a hoodie, she has a limited dark wardrobe and doesn’t like to dress up. She wears minimal make up and isn’t really into anything designer or expensive such as clothes, skincare etc. On the wholeI’m happy with her choices tho I wish she would relax with her clothing and wear nice t-shirts and shorts when its hot.

However, I can’t help but sometimes compare her to other teenagers I know who wear the tiniest of little clothes, they have very very expensive skincare and make up, designer handbags costing several hundred pounds. They have boyfriends sleeping over. Most of that I would not be happy with as I still think of DD as a child.

Are these people too quick to mini-adult their kids or does mine sound like she’s not adulting enough? She does always tell me not to worry about her and never appears unhappy.

Dd is 14 and really into hair and make up - she's actually pretty good at it now. It's not something I'd disallow. Same with clothes mostly. It's her body. She has her nose pierced for example.

Would I allow a boyfriend to stay over? Absolutely not. I still have to know where she is too all the time and we are her parents so we decide limits.

Ds is 17, he has more freedom and is moving to Uni very soon so will have to stand on his own 2 feet. I'd say he's had significantly more freedom since he was 16.5/17.

You are perfect! When she wants it, she'll ask. Let her enjoy being a child for as long as possible.

my teens didn’t have any designer stuff.

Does you daughter always need to endure her arms and legs are covered- long sleeves, no shorts?

Most 14 year olds don't have expensive skincare and designer handbags or have thousands of pounds worth of jewellery.

I think you may move in very specific affluent circles, OP.

Your DD sounds perfectly fine :) She'll find her own way and her own style in her own time.

Your girl is fine. I wouldn’t be happy with expensive make-up, skimpy clothes, boyfriends sleeping over either.
Be thankful!

We live in one of the most deprived areas in the country, so not moving in affluent circles , but like anywhere there are people who have more than others. Maybe because I work with the most disadvantaged in society I sometimes see it as gloating when kids have very expensive items.

Different people make different parenting fails choices. Would I have allowed my dc to have a bf/gf stay over at 14. Not a chance in hell! Would I judge those that did? Absolutely 🙈

If don't have a dd so can't comment on the tiny clothes, makeup and designer handbags. The closest ds got to designer was the cheaper end of Adidas or Nike!

She's happy in herself and her choices. I repeat, she's happy. She hasn't any hangups about how she looks or self esteem. She's her own person. Stop there OP. Most parents would just be happy that their dcs are all of this or even some this. Stop overthinking. And breathe. I mean this in the nicest way. Be grateful.

She sounds like her own person & she's happy. My own dd15 though loves make up n lashes n nails & the tiny clothes you seem to judge as too adult (tho I know no adult who wears them!). She has money from birthdays n babysitting i don't control everything she spends it on - I might 'advise' which she may or may not listen to! I do buy her good skincare as she inclined to have acne. most teens grow out of this too my own niece's at 20+ are back in the joggers n hoodies again most of if the time!