Panicking! Please help! Son's girlfriend in his room for the first time!

[nztoni]

Hi everyone,

Not sure whether we're being to lenient or too strict. Our son's girlfriend is in his room for the first time. Door's open but we can't see in! do we chill out or what??!

TIA

xx

How old are they?

How old and have you had proper conversations about safe and consensual sex?

So - vital question is how old are they?

Will it very much depends on his age! I mean, is he 12 or 24?

What's the issue?

Oh yes, age is a little relevant! Sorry! Both 15. Had safe sex talk but not consensual. Will be doing that tomorrow!!

Your house, your rules.
Door propped open at all times.
My friends did this with their son and it worked out fine.

I let my 15year old have gf in the room. With the door open. Not negotiable so if the door got shut, I'd open it and they'd have to leave the room...

Don't you have a pile of ironing in the bedroom next door

why are you worried? you've already allowed it! to be honest, if they were going to get up to something, they probably already have!

lay down the rules of the house and then you have to trust your DS that he will abide by them!

Just take them endless cups of tea 😁 through the open door, it’s what my parents did. Trilling ‘and would you like a biscuit with that’ is something of a passion killer.

This will lead you helpfully onto the Tea Consent vid which will helpfully do a lot of the heavy lifting for you. Reiterate birth control.

None of this is to say you need to let them overnight together at your house, but if they want to have sex they will etc.

ok, thanks everyone. Feeling calmer. Thanks for the sense check! xxx

Ds15 is allowed gf in his room with the door open and I generally have lots of important and quite noisy jobs to do in our bedroom across the landing!

If door is open then all good. If they want to have sex then they will. I did at that age but never at home, so just reiterate consent etc

If either party was under 16, the door was open here. If they ever shut it, which they did, we opened it. To much abuse. Tough.