Negative nancy

[Diddydoodle78]

Does anyone have an older teen who is a ‘negative Nancy’ ?
She has been to her new college today and lots of positives from what she’s said- she found her way around, had people to eat her lunch with, met some new people she liked and coped with the work.
however she’s focused on the lack of clubs that she thought were going ahead (I’ve suggested that these may well change in the next few weeks). The fact that the new people she met aren’t in her classes despite some of them doing the same subjects (unfortunate but hey ho!) and that she’s doing academic subjects when her hobbies are really creative. We’ve discussed this at length and always encouraged her to follow her interests but she feels doing art and music should be extra curricular (so she has classes in these) and she has always wanted to do academics for security.

I can see that doing 3 academic subjects isn’t as attractive as film studies, drama and art! She got 8s and 9s in her GCSE’s.
It’s just really hard to keep reframing things for her when she is so negative.
she has social anxiety so I feel really proud of the fact she’s put herself out there and gone way out of her comfort zone. I’ve told her this.
How do you deal with this type of issue?

Anyone?

My daughter is 17 and is in second year of college. She has changed course as was not happy bit still not happy a week in to new course. She also suffers social anxiety and has no motivation and no idea what she wants to do. Not quite the same issue as yours but I can't seem to get through that you just have to get on with things and you might even enjoy it in time

Your daughter sounds very similar.
dd doesn’t know what career she’d like either and this doesn’t help. She’s still pondering whether she’s chosen the right a levels. She seems to think life should be all hearts and flowers and you should love what you are doing.
dd is also quite judgy of others (I think it’s the social anxiety) and has already written off most people as not her type. I asked if she’d spoken to these people and she hasn’t. I suggested that there may well be a quiet person with similar interests just like her but if they both don’t make an effort then they’ll never find each other. No idea if she listens🙈

I have also tried to explain that most people go places everyday that they don't necessarily love but they have to do it. We are again looking at changing courses but to what I don't know as she hates them all. Good luck 👍

@Tat48
i wonder if my daughter had some friends or at least a social group to belong to then the anxiety about the future and her a level choices would lessen?

I feel the same as mine does not really have a social life, which she seems to like. She does have friends but only speaks to them online. If I say she might meet new people she gets on with she says she doesn't want to.