Is it acceptable to walk to friends house in daylight in PJs

[Desmonda]

21yo daughter just came back into house. 7pm. Daylight on a busy street in town where all locals pass from supermarkets etc. Wearing pyjamas. Had walked to friends house 10 doors down. I had already pulled her up about going to her BFs in pyjamas recently and told her I didn’t think it was acceptable and looked slobbish. I’m raging she’s done it again especially on a busy street. I think it’s just being very lazy and lacking standards.

AIBU to expect her to quickly change out of pj bottoms into leggings or jeans to pop into her friends house ?

It is up to her what is acceptable or not, but if you are doing this 'omg what my adult child does reflects on me and I care more about the neighbours' type thing I would work on that

Starr charging her for the taxi service

I’m new to MN posting so just found a quick category to post under 🤣 sorry for the confusion

People have no standards any more, do they?

Bedroom is often a tip. Is lazy about the house and doesn’t pay board money as has just finished uni

If she’s not going to respect your home or pay board there needs to be serious conversion with her.

any time we ask her to make dinner for example she regularly has an excuse not to do it. Or she’ll do it on her terms, might make dinner for some of the family

She either mucks in, gets a job and pays her way or makes dinner for everyone. Why does she make dinner for some of the family?

We taxi her to and from work coz she doesn’t have a car and public transport is not suitable

Absolutely no lifts unless she starts toeing the line with helping out around the house if she’s not paying board. Let her walk or get a taxi.

Have asked her to pull her weight around the house while everyone else is working but she’s pushing back on that too with excuses for being busy

She has a lot of spare time. I wouldn’t be putting up with excuses of being busy and if she doesn’t like it having to muck in at home she could find somewhere else to live. She’s an adult.

Apologies, I quoted that post intending to copy and reply to points raised but accidentally posted the full thing.

I would expect a young woman of her age to have a lot more self respect.

I mean, if my dd did that, I'd roll my eyes, or shake my head at her and probably bring it up with her, but "raging" ? Really ?

It’s slobby. I wouldn’t do it. But it’s her that is being judged by other people that have seen her.
I have a rule in my house, no pjs or dressing gowns after midday.
If you don’t like it, move out! My house, My Rulz etc 🤣

Sounds like you have got some behaviours to be annoyed over, but wearing pyjamas in the street sounds the least of them.

People do dress a lot more casually these days, and pjs often look like t shirts and shorts/ leggings/ joggers anyway. Personally I wouldn't wear them out of the house, except to go to the bin, but I'm fairly old. My late teen dd wears clothes far more skimpy and revealing than pj's, tbh.

As for underwear.... I was travelling today on public transport and saw several young women in vest tops who clearly weren't wearing a bra.

This is genuinely something I can't see an issue with. Please can someone explain?

@Desmonda Basically, it's a case of 'your house, your rules' if she wants to live there

We taxi her to and from work - no, why should you if she doesn't want to abide by what you consider to be reasonable behaviour in return for your help and for her living under your roof

if she's 21 and capable of taking a job, she should make sure that she can get there under her own steam, If not, and she needs help to get there, then she's going to have to accept that compromises have to be made,

It's life.......

It sounds like she's just taking the piss - and getting away with it!

Put your house rules in place for your own sanity - and to help her learn about life - which is what being a parent is all about.

We're not here to be popular / best friends with our children, we're meant to help them cope with life.

Why are parents so afraid of putting rules in place and teaching childen that yes, they may have rights, but they also have responsibilities - it's a two-way process

Why do people keep referring to teens? She’s 21.
Kidults 🙄

I think it's really slobby but I used to sit on the kerrb with a cuppa in my PJs as a student. My neighbours probably hated it. What would bother me more if if she then got into bed wearing same pj's later, that's unhygienic

I don't think it's ever acceptable to leave your house/garden in pyjamas. But why was your daughter wearing pyjamas at 7pm?

Because it’s lazy and slobby to leave the house wearing the clothes that you slept in!
I bet people stink of bed if they do that! 🤮
Clearly we have different standards in what is acceptable in life!
Would you turn up to work in pjs? No.
Why? Because there are social norms that dictate that you shouldn’t do that.
Everyone has their own opinion but mine is that wearing pjs out of the house is slobby and lazy. And you will be judged by others..
Well, probably not by those that are complete mingers…

I don't think it matters at that distance. I sometimes pop out to my car in my pyjamas or a dressing gown. My parking space is a short way from the house. Who cares if someone sees me? It's not going to scorch their eyes from their head.

My teens say it’s referred to it as “trash fash”. It’s not something they would do and is seen as really uncool.

my friends daughter goes everywhere in fluffy slippers..

Couldn’t bring myself to give the tiniest fuck about the pajamas at the best of times, never mind when it sounds like there are much bigger issues
pick your battles

I just about manage to put the rubbish in my bins ten feet from my front door if in pjs, even then I peek out to make sure someone isn't walking by! And I do not have any real care about my looks, but I think it's disrespectful to walk out in pjs beyond your property line. If that becomes ok, then it will be ok to pop around to the corner shop in jammies, go walk the dog, heck why bother getting dressed for work?!
I mean it's not like there aren't comfortable alternatives like sweats or t shirt and leggings which people wear out and about!

@CurlewKate This is genuinely something I can't see an issue with. Please can someone explain?

........are you the 21 year-old daughter? 😂

you live in someone else's house and don't seem to make much of a contribution .............
and you do exactly what you want to do,without thinking of how anyone else feels - i.e. the people who pay the bills for you living there and enable you to have an easy life ........ and you wonder why they get a bit pissed off?? ...........

@Desmonda hold strong! Your house, your rules x
edited for flipping spelling 🙄

Maybe put some rules in place for her.

@setmestraightplease well, yes, I get all of that. It's the pyjama thing I don't get!!

One of my mother’s neighbours started going out in her pyjamas. It turned out that she had mental health issues.

I really couldn't care less about this with my DDs. Their choice. But then I'm not concerned about other people's opinions which is the bottom line here really OP.