What quality time do you spend with your teens?

[oObyeOo]

I have a 15yr old who I feel I’m drifting apart from. I know this is normal. That he prefers to spend his time with his girlfriend or friends. It’s great that he has a social life and independence.

But I’d like to try to reconnect with him as he said to me the other day that he is only going out with his friend as there’s nothing to do at home.

He loves biking and we do too, so we do this often together. But his bike is currently in the shop being fixed. We are a countryside/mountain walking family but he’s no longer interested in coming with us on walks.

Anyway. I just wondered what you guys do with your teens to stay connected. Thanks

Mumsnet heresy but TV during mealtimes. It's a running family joke "quick put the TV on so we don't have to talk to each other" but it's actually incredibly important shared ground.

Ours (late teen boys) are still very keen to participate in family life generally though, actively want to go on walks with us, holidays etc. I actually worry they haven't separated enough from us.

We support their hobbies by volunteering on parent committees etc. They hate this and constantly tell us to wait for someone else to volunteer instead (because it means getting there early and leaving late) but I think deep down they appreciate our efforts 🤣.

My teen is getting harder to spend time with. I feign interest in some of his gaming interests just to get him chatting with me sometimes! He likes going out for food although less often now, and will do things like indoor golf sometimes.

I think he's embarrassed of me though which makes me sad.

DS16 likes hiking and shorter walks which I do with him and I get him to help me out with my volunteer work which sometimes needs his height and strength
DD14 Likes shopping makeup chatting and watching TV so we do those things together. I know nothing about makeup so she (sometimes rather insultingly) helps me with that. 'mum you've got a simultaneous dry and sweaty face so you'll need ...'

They're usually up for walking the dogs with us so we chat a lot then. We also sometimes all play on the Switch, watch Netflix, go for a meal, to the cinema, make dinner, and exercise together.

I'm taking 18yo dd to Paris next week, she's always up for a free holiday.

Otherwise she'll join me for a dog walk and a mooch round shops/charity shops.

It is harder with teens to keep that connection.

I was about to start a thread about a similar thing... although mine is the other end of the spectrum. They are 18 (G) and 16(B) one suffers with anxiety and one is autistic but they want to do sooo much with me and I want to be able to just go to the supermarket or a walk on my own. This year they have decided that "family time" is vital and that we need to do lots as a family - it is completely exhausting. They have friends but worry when out and about without me. They tell me everything about their lives and they don't game or use their phones or social media much they just want to be with me constantly. In all fairness my 18 yr old starts a full time job this week and my son is back to school and his hobbies start up again so never quite so bad in the term time but I just wish they would do stuff without me sometimes. They say they feel safe and protected with me and I should be so grateful they aren't always gaming or on their phones and they want to spend time with me. I do sometimes envy friends whose kids are locked in their rooms on their phones or gaming as I don't get any peace!!!