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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

17 year old complaining

7 replies

AuntieMeemz · 28/08/2024 16:54

No matter what we do for her, we always fall short it seems. Visit to uni open will cost £170 by train. I said if you really want to go, we have to cancel our weekend away. But she says that weekend is the ONLY thing she asked for, not true.i apparently failed to work out what other trips she would want.its up to me to work out what, where and when.if I ask her opinion she just says ^dunno/ whatever". So I arrange something she's not happy about, she goes off in a sulk. Dh then says I should negotiate with her, life is tough for her. (not true - comfortable and stable homelife, good freinds, no serious money worries). I could cry in frustration because I have to go to her and say how can we arrange everything to suit you? Or Dh says I'm not being fair! And the guilt of that is worse. Ps dh mother has life long mental illness that has totally screwed his thinking. And he is desperate to please, whatever the cost.

OP posts:
FoxtrotOscarKindaDay · 28/08/2024 17:00

Why can't a 17 yo go visit Uni on her own or with friends?

Stop arranging stuff for her. She's going to uni, life is going to start getting tough if she spends all her time sulking and complaining.

Why is DH desperate to please daughter but not you? Tell him she's nearly an adult and needs to grow up.

Longma · 28/08/2024 17:00

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. at the request of it's author.

Longma · 28/08/2024 17:01

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines. at the request of it's author.

Blondiie · 28/08/2024 17:04

Are you cancelling the weekend away because it clashes with the open day or because her ticket to the open day is £170?
Some universities will help with transport costs to open days. If the dates clash then can’t she choose which one to do?

AuntieMeemz · 28/08/2024 17:09

Some good thoughts..she could go alone but I enjoy the day out. If she goes there, she will come home by coach ( but coach no good for day trip). Dh is the main issue. Whatever complaints she has, dh will always take them to heart, whereas I call her out. When she want a lift, dh agrees, even though she is obtuse about date and time. Then when it turns out lift is needed at 11.45, I call her out but dh goes because he said he would!

OP posts:
KittyPup · 28/08/2024 17:16

Why are you cancelling the weekend away?

AuntieMeemz · 28/08/2024 18:22

Couldn't afford weekend (promised to ds Inc NT visit promised to DD). and Uni visit. Approached subject at dinner and we've found a compromise which suits everyone. Tough gig for me, I have a terror of car journeys and it's 3 hours each way.

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