18 year old addicted to ketamine

[Badgerkin]

I know this has probably been raised before but I am looking for advice on how to support my DS who has admitted he is addicted to ketamine. He has apparently been using it regularly since March, but it has recently got out of hand to the point where this last week or maybe longer he's been using almost daily. He also smokes marijuana. He says he wants to stop but doesn't want to seek professional help although he says he will try and let us help him. He has adhd (and I suspect autism but that isn't diagnosed) which may be a contributing factor to both the addiction and his response to seeking help. Anyway DH and I are reeling at the moment, and any stories or tips on helping him would be greatly appreciated. TIA.

He needs to seek professional help whether he wants it or not. If he is open to your help then the first line of action is booking a GP appointment for him and accompanying him to it. You cannot support him through this on your own, OP.

There are 12 step groups that can help both of you. Narcotics Anonymous (NA) for your son.
www.famanon.org.uk for yourself.
I still attend FA meetings, I turned to them when my son started abusing drugs. They have a helpline, forum litrature, meetings etc.
I have learnt not to enable, look after myself, put in boundaries etc.
For today, my son is in recovery and leading a normal life.
Remember you
Can't CONTROL it
Can't CURE IT
You didn't CAUSE it

Is he self medicating his ADHD/potential ASD? I really think he needs professional help if he is addicted and then to look to getting his ADHD medicated. It great that he felt he could confide in you but you are not a drugs counsellor and can't be expected to know how to handle this.

Many drug services have 18-25 young adult workers who tailor the support to suit the service users. Might be worth reaching out so you understand what they offer. I work for a drug/ alcohol charity and we offer brief, one to one interterventions covering harm reduction or long term support. Its a very harmful drug and can lead to alot of health issues. There is funding for detox but he would have to engage with support if he needed that.
As a pp mentioned, it's worth looking at support for yourself as well.

Is he on adhd medication?

Thanks for all your replies. There is a local addiction support service who I phoned today and will try and get him to talk to (they also offer support for families which I will pursue). I do think he may be self medicating - he has been prescribed and used adhd medication which did help with studying, but he hates the way it makes him feel so is not taking it currently. He did ok in his A levels but is on a 'gap year' and I think is very lost. We are trying to help him find a job / apply to uni next year, and considering something like a volunteer expedition overseas. Today has been horrible as I feel the last however long has been a lie - but am trying to see him talking to me as a tiny positive. I said that I felt stupid for not realising and he said, you're not the one who's stupid. My heart is breaking and I really appreciate your advice.

Serene12 it is really great to hear that your son is in recovery, long may that last.

Where is he getting it from and how is he affording it? Is money you’re giving him being used for it? Is it something you can just stop without side effects?

I don't really know what I'm talking about here, but wanted to make this suggestion in case it is useful.

Have you read the book Chasing the Scream? This might be useful as pets of it talk about how some countries have massively reduced drug problems by trying to help people with the parts of their lives that are not working out for them that is making drugs more addictive to them. It might help find ways to get over it.

I’ve read awful stories about irreversible bladder damage caused by Ketamine addiction. Everyone who has been addicted to it will go on to sufffer from this. I’m so sorry, I don’t know how to help, but perhaps you could enlist the support of the most straight talking GP in the practice. You should be able to have a telephone appointment to talk to the GP about him. They won’t be able to share anything with you though, but would be able to take details and offer support.

Op I'm in my 40s and in my late teens a lot of people around me took ketamine as a recreational drug
A couple definitely had a problematic relationship with it.

Although drug addiction is obviously very serious and needs to be treated holistically by people who really know what they are doing...I also want to tell you thar all my teen friends are now very boring middle aged parents who live totally drug free lives

I was a raver in thr 90s so sadly drug abuse was prevalent but people do move on if they face the problem

It's really good your son is speaking to you. I would just make sure he has therapy as well as addiction help.

Same. None of my friends now take it, the ones who survived anyway. There are 2 ex boyfriends, an ex housemate and 2 people in my year at school that didn’t make it past their teens. Another 2 didn’t make it past their late 20’s. 2 suicides that used to use and one unexplained adult death syndrome who was an ex user. You do tend do get to over it ime, unless it kills you first

Is it actually physically addictive or "just" psychologically?
Does he know about ketamine bladder, as mentioned by a PP? If not, make him aware.

A friend’s son was addicted to this too. She
educated him and made him realise that if
he continued he would be faced with a life of using a catheter. No ifs, a certainty. That was the incentive he needed to get off it and changed his friendship group to get away from people who used it.

No practical advice- but there was a piece on our local news recently- featured interviews with people who are addicted; one woman cannot walk to the end of the street without urinating herself as the K has made her completely incontinent. As people have said, maybe this might help him see that it is a dangerous drug.
All the best, OP- this must be a terrible time; I'm sure other posters will be along with useful practical advice

If he doesn't want professional help, then he doesn't want to stop.

He is likely conflicted. People with ADHD are very susceptible to self medicating with drugs. Dopamine seeking behaviour is very common. If he's like the person in my life who does/did similar he probably knows it's bad for him but also likes the way it makes him feel and doesn't want to give that up. He needs healthy ways to get a buzz. Does he exercise? Try cold showers, sea swimming, running/cycling, diving, anything where you get a physical buzz.

A friend's son went through this; she (his mum) was beside herself- ended up sending him to live with his uncle - but he carried on there. Eventually he emigrated with work and it has been the making of him by all accounts - doing very well at his job, met a partner & set up home, etc - he's late-twenties now, but problems started at a similar age to your DS..perhaps a stint volunteering abroad, as you mention, would be a good thing? It's really difficult when it's all around you in your social circle.

All addicts are chasing the buzz.

He and his parents need professional help.

You need to urgently get him an ADHD diagnosis and start him on medication. It's incredibly common to self medicate with undiagnosed adhd and adhd is quite literally a dopamine deficiency and the drugs boost the dopamine. Get him on proper adhd medication to do the job and he should find it much easier to get over this.

I'm an ex cocaine addict and have bipolar and ADHD.

Thanks again for all the replies. He does have a diagnosis and meds for adhd but doesn't like the meds, but will go back to gp to discuss alternative meds. We will try everything to get him to accept professional help. Have talked to him about the bladder damage, but as someone said he's not unaware of the issues but likes (loves) the way ketamine makes him feel. I just hope we can get him to help before it's too late. I am trying to hang on to the stories of those who have got through.

He does have a physical hobby which he loves and excels at but even that is being affected by the drugs at the moment. So true about chasing the buzz. Lots of food for thought here, thanks again.

The family support from young people’s drug services is very good. I think you’ll find it helpful.
What made him tell you? It sounds like it is becoming problematic for him in some way for him to open up.
There’s an absolute epidemic of ketamine use with young people at the moment and a lot of the support services have a special pathway for youngsters on it, often based around physical symptoms with their bladders, but he’d have to want to engage with it.