Rent for working older children

brooksghost · 2024-08-26T19:58:42+00:00

For those who have older working teenagers, are you charging rent and if so, how much? DD is 19 and has decided not to return to Uni for her second year. She is working 3 days a week and is earning approx £1000 a month. We are currently paying for everything still (phone, food), doing her washing...she does nothing around the house. I'll add, she is very high functioning autistic so we are still relied upon a lot to help her function through daily life. So, at what point do you start charging rent and getting them to pay for their own things like phones etc. Thanks!

fiddleleaffig · 26/08/2024 21:01

25%

ThisThreadCouldOutMe · 26/08/2024 21:11

DS is looking for work and claiming UC in the mean time.
He pays me £200 from his £300ish UC and pays for his own phone.

Sunsetbeachhouse · 26/08/2024 23:09

ThisThreadCouldOutMe · 26/08/2024 21:11

DS is looking for work and claiming UC in the mean time.
He pays me £200 from his £300ish UC and pays for his own phone.

😲😲😲😲😲 wow... why don't you just get the payment sent straight to your account for the full amount and be done with it.. you're literally taking all of his money

ThisThreadCouldOutMe · 26/08/2024 23:48

Sunsetbeachhouse · 26/08/2024 23:09

😲😲😲😲😲 wow... why don't you just get the payment sent straight to your account for the full amount and be done with it.. you're literally taking all of his money

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He's perfectly happy with it. He suggested the amount!

He couldn't live anywhere elder that cheaply! And it's less than I lost in UC when he was removed from my claim. So he's better off than he was. I'm worse off.

JazbayGrapes · 27/08/2024 13:33

No, i didn't charge rent. But I also didn't pay for phones or subscriptions.

2sisters · 27/08/2024 13:40

I'd say £250 a month plus they pay their own phone, toiletries and cosmetics. Or £300 and you pay them

feathermucker · 27/08/2024 13:43

My 18 year old pays £400 a month which includes his gym membership, Xbox gaming pass and phone. He earns around £1400 after tax. I can't afford for him to pay any less.

I'd say £250 is fair plus she covers her own clothes, toiletries etc.

Does she receive any PIP?

Talapia · 27/08/2024 13:45

I charge a sixth of their take home pay and ask that they also save at least a sixth, for a deposit for when/if they can afford to move out.

Singleandproud · 27/08/2024 13:50

Sit down and have a very clear conversation with her on changed expectations now she is a working adult. Just because she's autistic doesn't mean that she gets away with not contributing physically or financially. But be very clear and write down the things you agree on. Goblin tools is a great website you can use to break down tasks and print them out for her s she can work through them. Supporting her in learning the skills to become a adult and eventually running her own home.

Work out what her direct costs are (phones, toiletries, increase council tax if relevant) and charge her that or transfer the responsibility to her

Laundry expectations - laundry basket in her room, make a video or photo guide instructions on how to use the machine - that's now her responsibility.

If she doesn't help with cleaning up find out the hourly rate for a cleaner and charge her that and either get a cleaner in or keep the money yourself.

Cooking and food - is she going to help cook family meals or sort herself out, in which case do you have room for her own small fridge/freezer and a curfew on when the oven can be used. If shes going to take part in family meals then she needs a set day and time when the meal needs to be ready.

Financially I'd be looking at the above and working out how much would cover it, I'd imagine about £300 would be a fair price.

LauraNorda · 27/08/2024 14:36

My autistic sons don't work. They pay for their own phones and I make them put around £170 a month into their pensions, rather that charge rent.

LadyDanburysHat · 27/08/2024 14:51

We are going to go with 25% of take home pay (we will save the majority of this for him) and ask that he saves the same. I made the mistake of keeping the rent too low for my eldest, mostly because he was so horrified we were charging him anything. He got used to having way too much free spending money and then wouldn't reconsider education or apprenticeships, which had been the plan, as he was used to the money.

mitogoshi · 27/08/2024 14:59

£100 a week but stop doing the washing! They had access to the fridge for breakfast and lunch, I cooked evening meals.

Kitkat1523 · 27/08/2024 15:02

It’s not rent….you aren’t charging to ‘hire’ the space they live in ( or I’m thinking you aren’t ??) ….it’s charging ‘keep’…..so what they use…..gas/electric/toiletries/cleaning stuff/broadband an so on……work out what they use and then a fair contribution

Kitkat1523 · 27/08/2024 15:03

LauraNorda · 27/08/2024 14:36

My autistic sons don't work. They pay for their own phones and I make them put around £170 a month into their pensions, rather that charge rent.

Fine if you can afford to keep them….not everyone can…..and not sure you really doing them any favours …….or are you planning on giving them a free ride for life?

Comedycook · 27/08/2024 15:05

I'd say £250 a month and she pays her own phone bill.

OneRingToRuleThemAll · 27/08/2024 15:08

After they finish their education we charge their 'fair share' which is £400pm each for a 4 people household. We pay their share while they remain in education.

This covers their share of food and utilities.

If they want more money left over, they need to work full time.

NeverGuessWho · 27/08/2024 15:15

This is an eye opener. Thanks for the thread, OP. I am in a similar position, and a single parent household on benefits.

We've had the conversation about rent and DC is happy to pay rent, but I have been struggling to come up with a figure.

mansplainingsincethe90s · 27/08/2024 15:18

£250 a month. But that goes straight into an ISA which will be used for a deposit on their first home.

FawnFrenchieMum · 27/08/2024 15:22

We are charging 10% of his take home pay. We will pay to the end of his current phone contract and then he will need to take over, either by getting his own contract or by paying the bill to us each month.
We still buy standard toiletries and all his food etc. If he wants special bits of either he buys them himself.

roseymoira · 27/08/2024 15:23

You should charge 25% of what their take home pay would be on full time hours

LauraNorda · 27/08/2024 15:34

Kitkat1523 · 27/08/2024 15:03

Fine if you can afford to keep them….not everyone can…..and not sure you really doing them any favours …….or are you planning on giving them a free ride for life?

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They dont work as no-one will employ them. One gets UC & PIP, other gets enhanced PIP.

Kitkat1523 · 27/08/2024 15:36

LauraNorda · 27/08/2024 15:34

They dont work as no-one will employ them. One gets UC & PIP, other gets enhanced PIP.

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So they get to spend all their benefits on themselves….bar what they put in a pension? Do you leave yourself short to afford this? Or are you quite comfortable? Honestly, if they are on benefits and never going to work they likely be better off with no pension

LauraNorda · 27/08/2024 16:18

Kitkat1523 · 27/08/2024 15:36

So they get to spend all their benefits on themselves….bar what they put in a pension? Do you leave yourself short to afford this? Or are you quite comfortable? Honestly, if they are on benefits and never going to work they likely be better off with no pension

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Who else would they spend their benefits on? We are not rich but we get by. We buy the same food as when they were at school. If they want anything extra, they buy it themselves. The house is paid off so they can live here after we have gone. Obviously, they would need to cover the bills themselves but that should be do-able.

Just to re-iterate, they do apply for jobs often, they just get knocked back at interview, as the autism makes them awkward in social situations but I am sure they will get a job at some point.

As for the pension, if they just continue with what they are paying in now, assuming the past average return of 10%pa, by their late 50s, they will have just over a million. I wouldn't turn my nose up at that.

Kitkat1523 · 27/08/2024 16:21

LauraNorda · 27/08/2024 16:18

Who else would they spend their benefits on? We are not rich but we get by. We buy the same food as when they were at school. If they want anything extra, they buy it themselves. The house is paid off so they can live here after we have gone. Obviously, they would need to cover the bills themselves but that should be do-able.

Just to re-iterate, they do apply for jobs often, they just get knocked back at interview, as the autism makes them awkward in social situations but I am sure they will get a job at some point.

As for the pension, if they just continue with what they are paying in now, assuming the past average return of 10%pa, by their late 50s, they will have just over a million. I wouldn't turn my nose up at that.

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Like I said you are doing them no favours at all…..but you jog on

LauraNorda · 27/08/2024 16:44

Kitkat1523 · 27/08/2024 16:21

Like I said you are doing them no favours at all…..but you jog on

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Your replies come across as rather bitter. I'm out.