I want to keep it as short as possible, my eldest 14 year old girl is totally pushing me past my limits, she has 3 younger siblings all boys, and I always try to give her the benefit that when her bio dad was saw her the first few years of her life it wasn't great, that's always how I seem to justify her behavior, now she isn't violent towards me, she dosnt drink, dosnt smoke, but ever since she could walk and talk she has been challenging, she has always picked on her brothers beyond a normal level, took part bullying peers from time to time, always fighting for attention wether good or bad, it was so bad as far back as nursery she had to have a teddy to hold so the workers could let her know when she has it that it means others need their time and time to chat, she has NEVER followed rules, instructions or anything such. She talks to everyone in the house like crap, screams, throws the most massive tantrums known to man even laying in doorways refusing to get up, she often tells me that all of us, being me, my husband (brought her up 13 of the 14 years) & her brothers all make her unhappy and always saying she wants to leave, when in fact we are the ones being screamed at daily, she hits things, throws brushes, has broken furniture, she still can't follow simple rules, curfews, helps herself to everybody's stuff, lies, tells us things that happened didn't or that we are wrong or heard it wrong, the list goes on and on and on, she also thinks she's above everyone, peers included, screams at the gamily dog for barking, refuses to help with anything at all, told someone to 'die' on vinted unprovoked and thinks it's funny (she no longer has a phone) she's often grounded, has her privileges taken and just said today 'don't know why yous bother, not like it works' we have offered incentives, we have rewarded good behaviour, we do one on one time (tbh she's the only one who really gets it as she literally drains us of all energy, and we keep thinking it will help and have done for a long time but it dosnt) we are consistent, she is being assessed by neuro divergent team but is extremely high functioning if she is neuro diverse, we offer ways and solutions, anything u name, we have tried, we have had services involved to try help, I'm so so lost, so sad, and no idea what to do anymore, I'm terrified of her and asking her to do anything as it always ends up with her screaming at me, I'm due our boy in October so know my hormones are crazy however this has went on pretty much all her life 😭 I don't know whay else to do, I'm scotland based if that helps