Debating!

[Frazzled73]

Just wondering how good your older teen is at debating subjects they are passionate about.
DH is one for having a ‘discussion’ around the dinner table and likes a bit of a debate with the children. Dd16 sometimes enjoys it and gives a good argument but sometimes finds it difficult when it’s a subject she feels passionate about. Tonight it was AI and as a really creative person she feels AI is a massive threat and may harm her chances of a creative job in the future. She got really upset by the argument which irritated dh and he said she needs to toughen up and that her response was irrational. As a non confrontational person I hate this sort of thing. I was telling him that this type of behaviour where you can’t see an alternative opinion is quite typical for the age and her brain won’t mature fully until she’s in her twenties. Just wonder how good your late teen children are at debating and listening to other points of view.

My teen is excellent at debating subjects to which they are passionate. Sadly they lack good understanding and often does not value opposing arguments, which is incredibly frustrating!

DS was a member of school debating society in his teens. It's something of a skill to debate properly which is to marshall your arguments and put them forward properly. So I don't think you need to be in your twenties , but debating I think is a thing which can be taught. It's not the same as arguing. Debating is rational.

Think that’s the same issue- good to know it’s not just us. She is good at debating and backing up her views but finds it hard to hear the opposing view.

Your dh sounds quite harsh and judgemental on this op, getting irritated and saying a 16 year old needs to toughen up is taking it way too seriously imo. She's young, she's learning, I'd encourage her confidence to have discussions at home, make her feel relaxed around it. Getting irritated and telling her she needs to toughen up might have totally the opposite effect to confidence building and shut her down. Please don't let dh accuse her of being over sensitive either if he's like that, she's 16, still full of hormones, emotions and her brain is still very much developing. My dm always used to label me as over sensitive as a teen and it just shut me down towards talking or discussing anything when she was present. Tell dh to lighten up a bit!