Effect of Dyslexia on Behaviour

[mummyflood]

I was wondering if anyone could tell me whether dyslexia manifests in a childs behaviour/personality as well as being a learning difficulty (if this is the correct phrase, dont want to cause any offence)??

Reason for asking is, DS1, 14 has a friend with dyslexia. Said friend is OK some of the time, but over all the time we have known him (approx 10yrs) has been quite 'possessive', and as is currently happening, gives DS the silent treatment if DS decides to spend any time with other friends. Silent treatment has now been going on for a week this time around. DS has during this time had another friend over a couple of times and is starting a new activity at school with him. Friend 1 apparently is known to say 'well, I am dyslexic, you know' if he is told off for anything - he genuinely believes any inappropriate behaviour can be blamed on his dyslexia. Over the last 12 months we have had several issues with this boy, without going into too much detail, alcohol and very inappropriate searches on the internet have been involved beyond natural teenage curiosity, together with the falling out/sulking etc. The last bit is very frustrating, a) at this age, and b) between boys!!

What I am interested to know is, at 14, could certain aspects of his behaviour/personality be down to his dyslexia, or is he 'trying it on' and is actually a bit of a worry? We have known this boy for quite a long time, and when he is nice he is very,very nice, with nice parents, but things keep cropping up which I am wary of tackling as I do not want to go upsetting anyone if it is me misunderstanding his condition. Has anyone any experiences they could share with me so that I may get a perspective on what we are dealing with?

Thanks in anticipation.

My DS1 is dyslexic aged 16. Not ever known it to have a real effect on his behaviour. He was a well mannered, fair minded child. ALways stood up for the underdog. As a teen he is untidy, pushes our boundaries and generally acts like he 'knows it all', quite normal.

I think his surfing the net for inappropriate matter is what teens deem 'normal' these days. At one time full frontal nudity was inappropriate. I am horrified sometimes at what my teen thinks is normal.

I reckon your DS friend is trying it on.

I think it can have an effect on personality, but I wouldn't have thought the behaviours you describe are typical. Dyslexic children tend to be disorganised, maybe a bit insecure and sometimes are rather clumsy (as there's a reasonably strong correlation of dyslexia with dyspraxia). I suppose the possesiveness might be a sign of insecurity but I don't think the rest is anything particularly related. I doubt it's good for the child in question to be blaming dyslexia for all his shortcomings either.

Tend to think your Ds's pal is trying it on a bit.
My dyslexic teenager is disorganised, and though he would deny it to the hilt, and little bit underconfident is someways, but that is all I would put down to his dyslexia.
Fraid snorlax is right though - teens seem to consider surfing net for highly offensive (to us parents) stuff is totally normal. As far as i can work out basically every pal of my 2 oldest in y8 and Y9 seem to be at it.
There was a bit on TV about it the other night, 15 years ago to get pornography you had to put your coat on, take your money and go into town, and find someone prepared to sell you it. Now you switch on your computer, and if necessary hack past the parental controls and there you are. A downside to the www imo.

Thanks for your replies, very interesting and helpful.

Well, they are still not talking. DS has tried both face to face and on MSN - friend refuses to say a word, literally, and apparently was 'close to tears' when DS tried to talk to him. Very strange!! This is one very mixed up kid,the more I think about it. Apparently the only other person he really seems to be talking to at the mo is another boy in their class who is also dyslexic. I had actually forgotten about him - absolutely no similarities in personality or behaviour, my DS has known him for many years also.

The net surfing issue - we have had several chats since and I have told DS I accept that the majority of what we discovered is teenage curiosity, and whilst in no way delighted as such that he is browsing, I know that most boys of this sort of age are going to look if they have the opportunity. We covered the general porn issue etc. and I was quite pleased with his responses after we got past the embarrassement!

TBH I think/hope that DS has been looking for an excuse to cool off with this boy for a while, following the several incidents I have mentioned in OP, without being confrontational. I sort of thought that in Yr 10 things might change anyway - they are not doing much in common, and may have started to go their separate ways.

KIDS!!!!!

Well, I have a dyslexic ds, and teach loads of teenagers with it. The only personality trait it seems to interfere with is organisation.

Sounds like an excuse to me. Reminds me of the student who claimed he could wear his hat in school because he was dyspraxic

They'll try anything once!

Thanks, fizzbuzz. The longer the current situation goes on, I am thinking there is more going on than dyslexia/teenage hormones, etc. Have thought so for at least a couple of years if not longer - getting vibes others in the peer group are wondering too. Have told DS that if they resolve this, I will not stand in his way, but advised him to be careful and keep his eyes open. The child 'worries' me in general, and I intend to sort of 'remind' DS regularly what other nice friends he has, IYSWIM!!