What does your 18 year old do?

[Northernsoul72]

My 18 year old got some decent results today and has decided uni is not for them. No problems with that. They have a small part time job in a fast food chain, about 15 hours a week. As they finish after dark, I regularly pick them up in the car. They pay nothing towards the home or even do anything in the home unless asked. I really could do without being a taxi after my own work, although I do it for safety reasons. They seems happy to drift along without showing too much responsibility and I'm immediately shut down if I enquire their future. I feel a bit irritated to be fair but not sure if I am being unreasonable. They are neurodiverse but very capable in a lot of ways.

Firstly, do you want/need a financial contribution and why don’t they help at home? What is it that irritates you exactly?

DC didn’t know what they wanted to do at 18 so carried on with their weekend job in hospitality for a year, adding extra shifts, I drove them to and from work as we are rural (20 mile round trip).

I didn’t want any money from them as I didn’t need it and they were saving sensibly and learning to drive which I’d paid for previously. I bought them a car and insured it instead and they too over the cost of lessons.

So my expectation was for them to be working 20 ish hours a week and helping out at home here and there. I think it’s ok not to have all the answers at 18 and I don’t think they morph into a young person who magically needs less support overnight (also ND).

I have a 17 year old, and he's supposed to be staying at school but I'm not sure he'll make it through the year. He got two As on his GCSEs and failed the rest. He just has a bad sleeping pattern, like me although I get prescribed sleeping pills after years of trying to get the right treatment and seeing psychiatrists for it. I'm worried about him. He has been applying for evening jobs, maybe that will work out

Sorry, I might have misread the thread

My ds has tried all summer to get apprenticeship with no luck, often no replies.

he has now decided to take uni place up via clearing but I don’t think he even wants that. Feel for him he is pretty directionless

Have a look at apprenticeship options, they don't have to be manual labour type jobs, there's all sorts on offer these days Become an apprentice (apprenticeships.gov.uk)

I think a grace period of 12 months is reasonable for a teen post A levels or other level 3 study. Gives them time to think carefully about longer term plans.

This was my thinking. I didn’t want DC jumping into a uni degree and the debt that comes with it unless they were 100% about it.

Also, this generation will be working ‘til they’re 70 at least - there was no huge rush for me to push them at 18.