Are pre-teen and teenage boys always this crude?

[WoIsMe]

My 11-year-old DS got home from his first Scout camp this weekend, having been away for a week. His two older brothers always enjoyed Scout camps but DS came home very distressed. He enjoyed the activities during the day but was upset by the behaviour of the other boys during down time. He has previously complained about the boys in his year at school constantly swearing, talking about sex, and being obsessed with 69. I can see why this makes DS uncomfortable but it seemed like typical boys' joking around.

A few things he has said about Scout camp:

1. In their tent early on all the other boys took off their trousers and pants to look at each other's penises. DS refused to join in so they accused him of being transgender and not having a penis.
2. This later escalated to the boys hugging each other so their penises touched but only through their underwear.
3. On more than one occasion, he overheard boys talking about how much they hated gay people. When he said that was homophobic they said that was how they were brought up.

Tbh it all sounds to me like immature boys trying to impress each other by talking about things they don't really grasp and pushing social boundaries. I would like to know whether this is typical behaviour of teenage boys or if it really is as weird as DS found it. He starts high school in September and, if it's going to be like this, I think he's going to find it very difficult.

I would absolutely support this.

What you need to do is ask for the contact details of the safeguarding lead relevant to the camp.

When you have that, you need to send a verbatim report of what your DS told you - including dates, times. Use quotation marks for his exact words and not for when you are paraphrasing or summarising. Include what questions you asked, so it is clear what he said unprompted and what he said in response to a question (so that it is clear if a leading question has been asked).

Asking rather feebly ‘did you notice anything amiss’ is a failure on your part to safeguard your DS and, possibly more importantly, the other children involved.

I would seriously worry that the boys involved might have been sexually molested. This isn't normal behaviour by far.

The children were aged between 11 and 14. I've found out a couple of other bits and bobs such as that two of the boys waited in the tent wearing only their pants for one of the girls to walk in on them. She may or may not have reported that to one of the leaders. Apparently four of the boys were also getting in one-person showers together.

I've asked the Scout Leader for a face-to-face meeting. I noted everything my DS said on my phone Notes app, asking him to remember people's exact words as far as possible. I will show this to the Scout Leader at our meeting.

Absolutely the right thing to do. You are supporting the welfare of the other children involved and the scout group in learning lessons on tightening up behaviour expectations and boundaries.

That’s exactly the right thing to do. Exact quotes and by who is good. Scout HQ safeguarding and social services wanted to know exactly that.

It sounds so incredibly like my ds experience, who is also 11.