Is your teen's bedroom a food free zone?

[JMSA]

I am thinking of implementing this for my 15 year old daughter, as I am done with it being so disgusting. Love her to pieces but she's bone idle, to the extent that empty crisp packets etc don't always make it to the bin that's right beside her bed!
In the next month or so, she is going to have her own bedroom as my eldest will be moving out. Until then, she will always have shared with her slightly older (tidier!) sister.
I wish to God I had enforced the no food rule when they were young. But it's something I'm going to have to do now, so that the new bedroom doesn't get out of control. I'm usually a soft touch but she has absolutely brought this on herself.
Is your teen allowed to have food in bed? What rules have you put in place to ensure that it doesn't become a pig-sty, or are they good at regulating this themselves? I'd be particularly interested to hear from those who introduced it later on as well.
For those who say 'leave them to it, it's their own space', well, I can't. We live in a flat and the rooms are visible enough, as they all lead off one hallway. Plus, it's Georgian, so although we haven't had any mice visiting for quite some time (ironically better since our cat passed away!), it's certainly not unheard of.
No judgment please. As I said, I wish I had done this long ago. But I'm a single mum of three who works full-time and is doing her level best
Thanks.

Mine 17 now. He does alot of his own cooking as we all eat different re shifts etc. He also tends not to eat much in day esp when at school so cooks a big meal when gets in (very messy) . I am afraid he does take food to room especially if I am not in. We tend to have a weekly bring down plates etc. He recently did a big tidy of his room as a new bed. Omg the rubbish that was underneath it of crisp packets etc. I would def say eat only dry food in room if I was you.

And full meals are taken as a family if I'm in, no making your own food unless I'm out, if you want to live in the family house then you eat as a family, my rule and if you don't like it move out (nobody complains). We are full time blended, only as older teens, and I really think that eating together is what made it work.

We don’t do food upstairs here as a general rule. The odd cuppa and biscuit might have been consumed over the years, but that’s about it.

It’s tricky isn’t it. My DD17 comes home late from sports training and often eats her dinner at 9.30pm Sat in bed. But I do enforce as a min once a week bring everything down rule or she doesn’t get a lift to x place. However now she’s learning to drive I’m not sure how long that will work for. She does get things in her bin though & empty it. I think at 15 treating it more like an adult transaction may help? I would try the no wet food rule if you can get away with it.

We were like this. No food upstairs from a young age so it never became a thing. They had no TV or screens in bedrooms either so never went there only to sleep, really. They were not very tidy there with clothes but at least no food/plates.
Saying all this my dc never brought friends to their room as had space downstairs to hang out so that might be an issue.
I would ask her to help you redecorate, new quilt cover, move bed around etc..generally getting the idea of a new more grown up room. Then announce no more food. So she may be motivated to break the cycle. It's definitely worth a try.

They were only allowed to eat lunch in their rooms. If they failed to bring their plates down, then they weren't allowed to take another one up. It worked well.

Mine are too lazy to carry food upstairs. They do however leave plates, cups, crisp packets etc all over the downstairs. They are both perfecting their eye rolls at me because I am off work for the summer so keep calling them back to tidy up after themselves....I am so annoying.

Mine are adults now but when they got to be teens and wanted food in their rooms I said that was fine as long as at the end of each day all food rubbish, plates etc were brought downstairs. Otherwise no food in rooms going forward.

It worked. I suggest you sit her down and explain the new rule and why you are implementing it. Then if she breaks the rules, no more food in her room.

I had very very few rules with my kids growing up but this was one I was prepared to enforce.

Op I started reading your post out to my dd 15... who thinks the floor is her bin for all her rubbish.. she literally keeps telling me to stop reading what you wrote ... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Of course they can. It's their area, their chill out zone.

Just tell her to bring the stuff down.

On the flip that's brilliant he knows how to cook!! And makes the effort to do it. Very good habit rather then ordering food in or just eating junk!

My older dds both eat every meal in their rooms (ASD and arfid) they won’t eat otherwise

No food upstairs in our house. We've always had a pretty blanket "all snacks to be eaten at the kitchen table" rule. I occasionally allow them in the living room if we're doing something all together. It's not that I'm a clean freak (my house is a disaster), it's just that my children generate crumbs from nothing and it's the only way to save the furniture. They adhere to the no food upstairs rule but their rooms are still bombsites.

No food upstairs for everyone here. I don't eat food upstairs. No exception, not even a chocolate bar. It's not an explicit rule, just how it's always been. I'm horrified by the idea of used cups and plates in bedrooms

We have a no plated food upstairs rule which they pretty much stick to. They tend to fill a water bottle rather than a cup so the most I have to deal with is bottles and the occasional wrapper. They are only 13 and 11 though so it will probably get harder to enforce as they grow.

Mwhahaha. Denial much?

Oh, and thanks everyone. I'm genuinely really interested in how everyone else navigates this.

Food has slowly become an issue for us, my anxious 13 year old hates eating with others but surely eating in her room will just make this worse. I have sort of split the week and allowed it on occasions - sometimes I work evenings which doesn't help. But I want to use the summer holidays as a reset. How can she enjoy it more if she doesn't actually do it?

I know it will be a battle because she feels strongly about it but it seems a slippery slope to isolation and she doesn't go out or do much as it is. Standing firm!

It's really hard, eh? My eldest has high functioning autism and was diagnosed with Misophonia at the same time. I feel your pain!
Eating with others is incredibly difficult for her, but what I would say is that it DOES get better with age. She's 23 now and much more able to tolerate the situation now than in her teens.
One thing she found extremely helpful, when joining us to eat (like on Christmas Day! ), was listening to music at the same time on her earphones. She didn't blare it, so was still able to join a conversation, but it just took the edge off the other noises.
Could you try this as a compromise?

Thanks. Yes it is mainly air fryer stuff, cooked chicken, pizza or pasta with sauces. Lots of cheese. He does have some issues with people watching him eat.

Have never allowed food upstairs and I don’t think DC would actually consider taking a plate of food upstairs (sweets maybe for a sleepover). They are only tweens though so I may be proven wrong in future.

Technically, there is no rule about food upstairs in the house, but mine have always eaten at the diningroom or kitchen table. I'm not sure they would really question wanting to eat elsewhere?
Occasional snacky food in the sittingroom.
But then I can think of nothing worse than sleeping in a bed full of crisp crumbs, or accompanied by the smell of marmite on toast!

18yo and 16yo

18yo doesn’t eat in bedroom as he doesn’t want food in there. Only eats in kitchen.

16yo - can take stuff up that isn’t messy. A drink is ok, a snack that’s contained in a bowl and something that isn’t liable to spill. Or a packet of mini cheddars etc. But we do clear this every evening.

DD wasn't allowed to take food into her room until she was an older teen, purely because she would just stuff all the rubbish under her bed. (SEN issues), so no food was allowed.

Now she is allowed to eat lunch in there, ie a sandwich and crisps/banana etc but if she doesn't bring out the plate and all rubbish, then she is not allowed to take another one in there.

She is untidy enough without adding bowls/plates into the mix.

You are the parent , and this is a situation that you can be in control of, rather than let them build up mountains of crockery in their rooms.