DS's first house party

[Aoeedy]

DS17 has been invited to his first house party this summer. (Summer in-between Year 12 and Year 13)

It'll be his first time going to a house party and I was wondering how to discuss sensible drinking and behaviour. He's had drinks with us at home and when we've gone out for dinner, but this is his first party.

He's excited to go as he's had FOMO about never going to one.

We’ve always made sure DC eats before a party and just had a conversation about being careful but the biggest thing we’ve said is that if the party gets out of control, if he gets too drunk or a friend is then call us and they absolutely won’t get into trouble and we will help. I don’t ever want something to happen and my DC to be scared to phone for help.

As above and also give him some drinks to take and tell him to stick to that, not mix it with other stuff.

Give him an out.

There’s no point in saying- don’t drink too much, don’t drink spirits etc. He will want to do what his friends are doing for better or for worse.

But make sure you do say- please be sensible BUT that you’re a call or text away if you think things have gotten out of hand, feeling unwell, too drunk etc. That there’s no judgement and you can collect him.

This isn’t a long term deal, as he needs to learn to be responsible and look after himself but for the first time at a party, it may settle both your nerves.

My friend suggested to her son that he drinks cans or bottles as nobody can see how much you've got left inside so less pressure to down drinks to keep up with others. Her son managed that strategy really well. No mixing drinks. And harder for others to spike when your head is turned.

Another one when being pressured to drink more is "i have to drive tomorrow morning to drop my mum off at her pals house so can't get too drunk tonight". (Or whatever if he can drive).

Practice the chosen sentence prior. Then there is no stuttering and sounds true!!

Don't assume he will drink, many don't drink these days. Ask him how he feels about it. Talk about alternatives. Talk through how to drink water in between drinks and to choose low alcohol options (He can take them with him) What to do if someone is very drunk and needs adult help/ recovery position etc.

Mostly I have told my teens to enjoy themselves, they are invariably great fun and absolutely fine.

I don't want him to embarrass himself and puke his guts out. Especially around girls.

I just want him to enjoy himself.

I think you’re being slightly over the top. He’s 17, who cares if he embarrasses himself. We all do at that age.
If this is his first party without adults, I would say he is on the more mature age range for this. It makes him seem mollycoddled and your posts do nothing to dispel that. He will be fine. Stop fretting. He will be off to uni soon enough, so you need to get used to it.

Agree with the last poster. Let him live and learn, right of passage

So he went LN and ended up being sick. He's incredibly hungover today.

Mine all did the first house party thing at 13 ….so a bit different….at 17 he will be more mature …I would be more worried about drugs than alcohol

Do I have another chat with him about sensible drinking or is this a lesson enough?

You can't chat to teens about sensible drinking. They'll nod and agree and then go out and do whatever they're going to do anyway. Sensible drinking comes with age, wisdom, the novelty wearing off and too many hangovers.
As another pp said 17 is pretty late for starting drinking at house parties, mine all started at around 15, or year 11. I'd just tell him no sympathy today and leave him to wallow in his hangover.

Meh, just leave him to nurse a hangover.
He’s 17 and will be off to uni soon, he’s going experience many of these