What is normal behaviour?

[Tacali]

Sorry this is long.

DS has just turned 13. We were on holiday and he met 4 other boys. All had autism. He said he wanted pals for on holiday but we had to basically try and set it all up with other kids/parents then he would barely talk.

I have thought in the past that he has struggled with things. When you talk to him it's like he stares right through ypu and then when it's something requiring a reply he just says I don't know. He crys alot and says he doesn't know why it just happens.
I can give him instructions like get changed put deoderant on and brush your teeth and hair and alot of the time he doesn't follow all instructions and when asked why he hasn't done something it's i dunno or I forgot. I have to remind him to do everything.

He gets very fixated on things. Right now the football. Hasn't bothered woth football for 2 years and honestly is acting like he knows everything about everything and every football player.

He slurs his speech alot and clears his throat alot. I have been to the doctors about this and the school and all say there is nothing abnormal. If trying to explain things to him especially when he's been out of order he fidgets whilst staring through you.

I'm only writing this as hes my first I've never had a teenager before. Is this normal for his age?

What do you know about Autism? Are you in a support group? All sounds pretty normal for a teenager with ASD

Ops child hasn't been diagnosed with autism so not sure why you're asking if they are in a support group? We don't know the child has ASD especially if the school and GP are not worried.

@Tacali what you have described does indicate that further assessments are needed but I'm curious as to why the school isn't seeing what you are. I would get back in touch with the school and the gp with a full list of questions. For example why do they think sluring his words is ok? Why did you point out that all the kids he met on holiday were autistic? Why do you think clearing his throat is an issue ? Have you checked if this is reflux for example? I would address all your concerns one by one with the relevant co ordinator at school and doctors.

I took him to the doctors twice about the clearing years agp they say it's a "tick " he has and hopefully grow out of it. I can see in his face he gets nervous and hates when he does it then it makes it worse. It can not happen for ages then come back.

After talking to the parents of the children there were alot of similarities.

OP is your child ASD or are you asking if they might be?

By teenage years I would expect school to have flagged it with you if you don't already have a diagnosis. Mine was 12 when school called us in to suggest getting an Autism assessment.

Sorry OP ( it is early) is what you are asking could your son be autistic ?
Answer- yes he could
Or are you telling us he is Autistic and checking that these quirks ( sorry no better word right now) fit in with that ?

Sorry should have added these are not typical behaviours for a NT teen.

No ue hasn't been diagnosed with anything.
I have said to the primary school they said they'd get a counsellor to see him and he just said he was fine and they left it.
Hes now at secondary school and it's a very big school with alot of pupils so I don't feel like teachers get to know pupils as well

Teenage boys of that age can be very socially awkward op so what you experienced with the friends might be quite normal. Mine is approaching 15 and is only now confident enough to be the plan maker. When you say he stares straight through you, is that always? Does he ever seem to have a conversation with you? Did he do so as a child? He might just sullen and hormonal, does he just not like being told what to do? My ds was and is quite lazy, if he can avoid doing things he will.