Feeling sad today

[louisbalfournice]

DS had a significant birthday yesterday. Had an amazing day with a very unusual surprise activity. A close member of the family drove us to the activity. We all had a pub meal afterwards (party of 8).
But DH wasn't involved. He stayed at home. He had no intention of going and said he wasn't feeling well the day before. This morning, there was no suggestion of trying to do something together. Even if he's not unwell, he won't go for pub meals because he says he can't stand the smell of vinegar.
I'm just feeling sad that he wasn't part of the birthday at all. This has happened before, feeling unwell not going to family events. I've been going independently for years but it still stings

Tell him to stop being such a shit parent. Make it clear that his absence will be having a direct effect on your DS. Does he not have an ounce of guilt in him? It was your son’s special day, if he had to bear the smell of vinegar in a pub (which is absolute bollocks) for a few hours then so be it. Real parents make sacrifices for their children, it’s what you sign up for.

Tell him to grow the fuck up and act like a proper dad!

a good friend of mine had a similar dad. He never came to any school, social or family events. He had an allotment and spent all his spare time there with his dog. I used to think it was pretty weird but the family seemed to accept that was just the way it was. Looking back now I can see that the dad was neurodiverse and it was his way of coping with everyday life. He was a lovely dad in many ways- taught his children lots about nature and gardening and provided financially but just couldn’t do the everyday so called ‘normal’ things.