Just give up on any family time?

[BibbleandSqwauk]

Just me and two DCs..early teens, one of each sex. So so sick of their interactions going nuclear. Tonight I agreed to a board game, though I wanted to watch the debate. Sat down, literally got three turns in before all hell broke loose, telling each other to shut up and storming off complete with door slamming. Relentless negativity, nit-picking, utter selfishness towards me and each other. It's really taking its toll on me and I've got no outlet for it. Neither do much outside the house, there's some ND in there too and EBSA so it's all pretty relentless and they can't even manage a board game.

I know how you feel.

I have an ND teen with EBSA and I understand the long term toll of the ever present grumpy teen.

All I could suggest is making sure you sometimes prioritise you. If they want to bicker leave them to it. They're old enough to sort it themselves.

Pack away to game and watch the debate like you wanted to. You offered a family game but they're not cooperating so you now do something else that you want to.

It is natural for your teens to spend more time in their rooms and doing less family stuff, but it is hard to get used to.

I don't think ND is necessarily of note here. They're being teens and siblings.

Don’t do it unless they ask to do it. Forced fun is difficult at that age. Leave them to learn to entertain themselves and start doing nice things for yourself. Watch a film, read a book, have a friend round. When they’re older they’ll feel nostalgic about it and you can get the board games out for special occasions.

I only mention it as a reason why se of the more obvious strategies may not work and because it adds to just the general stress

Alternate time with each one.

They may well come round to liking each other again later, but right now each of them are annoying!

If you have family meals, build on those as family time. Actively avoid setting up problems- don't force team them or set them in competition with each other. In fact, do the opposite, set them up against you, give them something to bond over by being really unreasonable about something!

Yeah we don’t have ND or EBSA in the mix (although we have a highly sensitive child) and we gave up on family time about 1.5 years ago. It’s coming back now as DC1 chooses more interaction out of her own free will (she’s now 16).

It's pretty easy to spend time with one as we share a lot of interests but not so much the other. The suggestion came from them to play the game too...I like the idea of letting them bond over opposing me but only so much.