Worried about son and his weight gain.

[Backtothe80splease]

Ds is 19 soon and as he’s an adult there’s not a lot I can do about this but as his mum I can help worrying about his health.

Ds was always a slim child/young teen but as soon as he got his own car at 17 and hanging out more with his friends more, he started eating crap (he leaves all the wrappers in his car). He has slowly been putting on quite a bit of weight over the last year or so and now he has a girlfriend they go out to eat a lot, they eat take always and general crappy fast food and drink. He drinks quite a bit of beer as well.

I have always insisted we eat as a family and I cook healthy foods from scratch but now more often than not he doesn’t come home for dinner and grabs something whilst he’s out with his girlfriend.

This isn’t about looks for me, I will always love my dc no matter what their size but I’m very concerned about the health implications. He has bright red stretch marks all over his tummy where he has gained the weight so rapidly. And because of his poor diet and lack of fibre, fruits and veg he also has trouble going to the loo and sits in there for ages and as someone who suffers from a digestive disorder myself I am very concerned. My gastroenterologist tells me she is worried about the amount of young people she is now seeing with bowel cancer and says the amount of very unhealthy upf available is obviously not helping with bowel health.

I am not making an issue about it verbally to him as it’s his life but I have gently mentioned it and he says he doesn’t care, his girlfriend says she loves him just how he is and likes a ‘cuddly teddy bear’ which doesn’t help really.

The thing is that no matter how much advice or help I offer about eating and health, he’s a teen and won’t listen so it’s ultimately up to him now he’s grown up, there is nothing I can do. I know that but it does trouble me.

Anyone else been in this situation.

Can you talk to him from a health perspective rather than a looks one? About how the things he is eating really aren't 'food' or good for him and you're worried about his health? Do you have a good relationship generally?

If he was a slim child he'll likely lose weight more easily than someone who has always been overweight.

We have have tried talking to him about the health aspects rather than anything else but you know what teens boys are like, they think they are invincible and older age is a million years ahead of them.

We all have a good relationship with food and as I said, I always have cooked good meals and we’ve always sat as a family to eat but he is no longer wanting to do this, which is fine but I do so wish he’d chose healthier foods but it’s quick stuff to grab and eat (sausage rolls, shop bought sandwiches and McDonalds etc).

I just worry that once he’s put the weight on it’s so much more difficult to lose. My family are slim but many of DH’s family members are big and some have struggled with their weight for decades, my mil died as a result of obesity and I can’t help but worry for my ds.

Omg I nearly posted the exact same thing the other day. My son is the same. Has recently put on loads of weight and won't stop eating crap. I had a discussion with him 2 days ago about healthy eating. I've bought lots more protein stuff and agreed to pay for a gym membership. I'm hoping that will help

As their mum it’s really hard not to worry isn’t it? I hope the gym membership helps your ds, mine will not exercise for love nor money!