Desperately sad for my teen who has lost all his friends

[Kvec1507]

Hi all

Hope someone can offer words of wisdom on this one.
My son is 15 and has had a girlfriend for the last 18 months. His friends said she had been saying stuff about him although had no proof. His friends are really good kids I think and he's been with them since primary and they said they were only looking out for him by telling him and asked him to break up with her.
He didn't and they had a big chat with his friends and said even though they don't like her doesn't mean they can't be friends.
Anyway skip forward 3 months and his friends are ignoring him. It's so sad as he had prom to look forward to and post GCSE parties but he didn't get invited to anything.
His friends don't message him anymore and he can see that they are all going out together.
My son is stubborn and won't reach out to them and also wouldnt initiate 'do you want to go out' which he has always been like. He's very sad about it all and I'm angry with all of them to be honest for letting a girl come between them all.
The thought of him now being lonely until September breaks my heart. He's not the type to go to clubs and make new friends no matter how much we try to convince him.
I am close to messaging all the boys to say how much he misses them but I think my son would never speak to me again if I did that.
What can I do? I'm so sad for him, I just want him to enjoy his summer with his friends but they do really seem to have dropped him.

Is he still with the girlfriend? Do you think she's bad news?

He is still with her yes. She seems sweet enough to me and I do hear her encouraging him to message his friends.

There’s nothing you can do, this is quite a routine life lesson. Eventually the girlfriend will fade off and he’ll rejoin the group. You don’t need to do anything, just give it time.

I hope you're right

I am. I had similar arguments with my school friends and it felt like we would never make up. Currently sat messaging them about a gig we’re going to next week. We’re in our 30s now!

Oh gosh Op - I can absolutely imagine how hard this is to witness but do not message his friends. ! (im sure you wouldnt have..but just in case!) he is a big kid now - do you remember being that age? You learn really tough life lessons once you are at secondary school - you fuck up with friends, you burn with the shame of mistakes etc - you are growing up and learning about life.

However hard it is - he has a girlfriend so he is doing okay with life - if his girlfriend is encouraging him to get in touch -then Im afraid this is on him not his friends.

I think you have to step back and see that these other kids are just young teens and it's not on them to keep reachin gout to a mate who never bothers with them - perhaps you need to give your son a bit of tough life advice and tell him he is screwing things up by failing to be a good friend himself.