Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Given up on asking teen for help - rant.

29 replies

Frazzledscampi · 23/06/2024 15:32

had an injury last week which involved a broken ankle resulting in some quite serious loss of mobility in doing simple tasks. On crutches and in a cast and hobbling about.

despite it being a very obvious break, from the outset my 16 year old daughter has been an absolute d1ck.

Eye rolling when I express pain or take pain medication, tutting at being asked to do her everyday household chores, and general passive aggressive comments. On Friday she went out for a “few hours” and came back 5h late, which is annoying but when I can’t really move and was expecting her back it was actually quite irritating.

The only things I can’t do (and feel very guilty about) are things like walking the dog and general “you need two hands” mobility based tasks like hoovering. I had suggested we swap household chores for a while - eg I’ll do her normal stuff if she does the dog etc. this was met with distain. I’m fine shuffling round the house and doing bits and bobs, but her attitude is really adding to the stress and I’m already in a lot of pain.

im very conscious that she is a teenager and NOT my carer and I don’t want her to be or feel like she is but I’m already at the point where I’ve given up. It’s easier just not to ask, and she does nothing on her own initiative.

Fighting about asking for help is stressing me out and I’ve just decided I’m not going to ask anymore and find alternative ways to get things done.

she is off to Florida with my ex husbands sister in a few weeks so she will be getting a nice holiday soon, and I just felt that a couple of weeks of helping a little bit more would not invoke such a sh1tty reaction from her and I’m disappointed in her lack of empathy.

this more of a rant to be honest, it’s just upsetting that she doesn’t care and I hate feeling like a burden. Anyone been through something similar?

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 24/06/2024 19:30

CloudPop · 23/06/2024 17:03

I never understand this. Do no teenagers have mobile data ?

True.

But it would serve as a reminder to her of what side her bread is buttered on.

mathanxiety · 24/06/2024 19:37

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 23/06/2024 16:33

What's the betting that she'd just be really unpleasant to her brother until he coughed up the new password?
Teenage girls can really be the worst.

She'd be grounded, and the password would be changed again.

And as for getting back late when her mother or brother might need her - she'd find the door locked.

I don't agree with "teenage girls can be the worst" / what can you do/ let's all throw up our hands and let them be. As long as they live under a parent's roof and receive certain privileges and support, they should feel obliged to help a parent in time of need, and ashamed if they cannot.

This girl has actively refused to help and has mocked her mother's pain. There is cruelty there, and it needs to be sternly addressed.

Frazzledscampi · 25/06/2024 00:33

mathanxiety · 24/06/2024 19:37

She'd be grounded, and the password would be changed again.

And as for getting back late when her mother or brother might need her - she'd find the door locked.

I don't agree with "teenage girls can be the worst" / what can you do/ let's all throw up our hands and let them be. As long as they live under a parent's roof and receive certain privileges and support, they should feel obliged to help a parent in time of need, and ashamed if they cannot.

This girl has actively refused to help and has mocked her mother's pain. There is cruelty there, and it needs to be sternly addressed.

I get what you are saying and completely agree.

i know what I’m about to say is going to sound like a complete cop out, and I’m probably going to be slated for it, buf I honestly just don’t have the mental energy to address this now, sternly or otherwise.
I’m a single parent with little local support, and the pain, the high doses of meds I’m on and just how physically and mentally exhausted I am at the moment makes it feel like to much. I’m a pretty strong kick ass mum (I like to think!) who normally takes 0 shit, but at the moment I’m an emotional wreck. There is also an element of shock in trying to work through it was a rather traumatic injury. Think visible bone protruding through skin type trauma.

I do have a decent relationship with ex-sil and I’ve made her aware about this. She’s young and cool and hopefully will be able to talk about this with her when they are away.

thank you though and I wish I could transport you here to have a strong word with her 🤣

OP posts:
PiggieWig · 25/06/2024 00:44

She’s rapidly approaching peak knobhead age. I swear it’s an evolutionary thing to make it easier for us to let them fly the nest.

They can be blindingly selfish. It’s not ok but it’s not unusual either. You might need to give her a list and tell her no pocket money (or whatever she relies on you for) until it’s done.

There’s probably a bit of underlying angst about her mum being out of action there but equally, she’s being a dick and needs to get her head out of her arse.

Glad DS is being better. Lots of rewards for him ⭐️

Hope your ankle heals soon.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread