Son has fallen victim to online scam - advice please

[Seaside1234]

Husband has just phoned to say that my poor 15 yo son has been the victim of a horrendous online scam - he's been conned into sending nudes, blackmailed and then had the images sent to contacts on his Instagram. I'm furious, heartbroken and so frustrated that he did this - I thought kids today were wise to this kind of thing, but the scammers are clearly evil pros. Husband is ringing police. I'm so frightened what this might do to him. Please help with any advice or support. What can we do to help him through this?

surely given whats happened you will be making sure your 11 year old daughter does not have any kind of social media accounts?

Great idea

These scammers ask for funds via money transfer.

Any transfer will have a name and location (prob Africa). You normally need real ID to pickup money.

The authorities ought to report these names to their Country law enforcement, may not do anything but they should at least be afraid of consequences.

I think the brilliant bit in all of this is that he came to you/Dh and told you it had happened. I would just look at drawing a line under why he did it he has most certainly learned a lesson. I would talk about staying safe going forward, that he swags it out with saying they are deep fakes, and that you have his back and will do whatever you can to support and protect him.

Absolutely loads of teens and adults fall victim to this sort of thing, he is not alone, he is not stupid and they are very clever. Remind him everyone makes mistakes, even adults and you are here for him.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-66736462.amp

Happened to this guy, he spoke on the radio and I happened to be in the car with my son. He just rolled with it, he speaks in schools advising kids. So sorry this happened and I am so glad he shared with you so you can support. Good luck op 🙏☘️

Truly the best in this situation is that he told his dad, so good for him.

it’s worth saying to all young people that everybody has a naked body. Obviously is embarrassing and humiliating but actually people knowing shouldn’t be the end of the world. Not to minimise feelings, at all, but that’s what an older lady said to my children when her granddaughter had been caught in something similar. She says it too all young people she knows. Everyone has a naked body and they all look basically the same.

@Bluescissorsbluepen absolutely - I work in healthcare and there's no body part that would have the slightest effect on me!

This.

As a pp has said, the offenders are likely not within our jurisdiction and not much will likely happen.

It’s unfortunately really common and I have already started to coach my nearly teenage son about the dangers and risks of sending images of yourself online (not that he has any interest yet).

They're not afraid of consequences.

Money can be transferred via PayPal. No ID needed.

Happened to my sd. She didn't tell anyone though and it went on years, we suspect still is.
She'd do anything for these people including give up family and future. Glad he's told you as you can support him as needed.
Best advice now take him off line for a while

PayPal is banned in many of these countries, not all. PayPal holds new or suspicious transfers routinely and it can be charged back via unauthorised claim.

Money services like WU stop transfers too tbh. But these scammers want the money sent guaranteed directly to be withdrawn.

I agree, reporting it won’t have consequences, but ppl still
should file the report, the more ppl that do it, slows these low-life’s down.

Thank you all for your replies, the support is much appreciated. Police apparently of the opinion the pictures are unlikely to go any further. I'm just so relieved he knew he could tell us. Hopefully he'll get past it and learn what needs to be learnt.

Sorry this has happened to him 😔. The police do take this kind of thing seriously, but I agree that it'll most likely be from overseas. I would also recommend him calling childline as they also will be able to offer some support in these cases.

Poor kid, I feel very sorry for him and anyone else fallen scam to this. Admit nothing, deny it all. No one can prove its him at all in the pics, esp as you can they look badly photoshopped. Rotten evil bastards preying on people in this manner. Hope they fall into a pit of lime and die screaming

This is a known scam and they don't send photos to his contacts btw - all part of the whole hideous threat though!

I had all of this with my son last year when he burst into my bedroom at 4am in a panic to tell me what was going on.

He handed me his iPad and I just blocked the account and nothing else happened.

Well I say nothing else happened! My son had to endure several conversations with me about it all - I'd spent a good few years previously talking to him about how we never send photos of our penis etc etc but of course, aged 16, hormones etc etc they just don't THINK.

It's very common and he shouldn't feel ashamed. My son actually refers to it as 'penis gate' now and we can laugh (sort of!)

I'm just so so relieved that he was able to come and get me straight away and tell me without embarrassment because I know others haven't been able to

And if you're a parent reading this thread and feeling confident that your son or daughter would not do this - please - talk to them. Open up a conversation about it and tell them they can come to you about anything

Could be a life saver

He’s been very brave and you must have a good relationship for him to have confided in you . I hope it blows over Op. He’s learnt a hard lesson.

This happened to my son 2 years ago..I was absolutely devastated as so out of character for him, he's very quiet and sensible. He told me straight away and my gut said they'll move on if he ignores them and so that's what we did and thankfully never heard anything again! They're literally targeting hundreds/thousands of people at a time and there's no mileage in pursuing someone who doesn't respond.

Kids are most certainly not wise to this. There was a case recently of a police officer in Wales who had pretended to be a teenage boy and asked 210 girls for nude photos. 207 of them complied!

So on the one hand - OP don't feel your son was alone in this. But on the other hand, we could be doing a hell of a lot more to warn our kids.

I'm so sorry for your kids who've been in the same situation, but I'm very grateful to you for sharing your experiences. I think he'll be ok but he's understandably shaken and still nervous that it could all still kick off. And no sense of potential justice for it either

Jesus christ.

https://www.fbi.gov/how-we-can-help-you/scams-and-safety/common-scams-and-crimes/sextortion/financially-motivated-sextortion
A bit more advice here. So sorry that this has happened to your son. These guys are utterly heartless.

What do you mean by they have been photoshopped?

Well done to your DS for having the courage to talk to you about it. He's done the best possible thing. Sadly, a very common scam that many fall for. I agree, in the unlikely event any pictures are circulated, there'd be no way of any recipients knowing whether they were genuine or not.

Op there is some info that childline have for removing images from the Internet if the child is.under 18... not sure how it works for Instagram but have a look in case, ive put the link below. Reach out to the platform directly as well requesting urgent support to make sure anything being posted is taken down.

www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/bullying-abuse-safety/online-mobile-safety/report-remove/