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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

GCSE survival guide for parents please

44 replies

Copper · 09/04/2008 04:21

Huge row today with DS about lack of revision going on in April holiday, which got so bad that I think he may stop any revision just to spite me.

He was supposed to go in to school for an extra revision session today at 9.30. Yesterday he said he wanted to go but today, even though he was up and dressed, point blank refused. I completely lost it - he has done this before on coursework catch-up sessions and had a really bad row with his father about that. (Will fail those GCSEs as a result.) This session was for a subject that he needs for his A level choices.

DS stormed off for about an hour, came back and shut himself in his room all day, in bed. Attempts to talk in the day made it all much much worse - ran through all the old favourites - you hate me, etc etc.
Went to bed at night still furious with me.

I handled it all very badly.

Any advice on getting large, recalcitrant, stressed-out but much-loved 15 yr old through the next few weeks would be much appreciated.

OP posts:

Milliways · 18/04/2008 20:44

My DD is a real old fasioned reviser - writes copious notes and tests herself. She freaked at having to go to "revision classes" at school as said got more done at home - and luckily for her, her teachers agreed and let her stay home as they knew her.

We didn't see her for months last year for GCSE's and going through the same now for AS levels.

Good luck everyone

mumeeee · 18/04/2008 21:31

Milliways DD1 is the same as your DD. Sheis now in her final year of uni and has just handed in her disentation (I can't spell )and has her fianl exams in a months time,so she will be bus revising over the next 3 weeks,
DD2 is in uper 6 at college and has alot of assignments for her performing arts Btech to get hfinished and handed in, She is also doing Welsh Bac,English A level and her maths GCSE for the 3rd time.
She is fine with al the practical stuff, EG singing and acting assesments but has trouble getting the written stuff done, Partly because she leaves things to the last minute. DD3 16 is busy revising for her GCSEs. She has dyspraxia and wil have to work hard to get the grades she wants but she is determined ti get those grades and is trying hard to stick to some sort of revision timetable, All her course work is finished and handed in.So you can se it is a very stessful time in our family at the moment

Milliways · 18/04/2008 22:07

Crikey Mumeeee, have a glass of wine

mumeeee · 18/04/2008 22:22

Yes I think I will! DD2 wondered why I was stresed tonight when I was reminding her about her assighnments! I'll be glad when they have all finished.

ajandjjmum · 21/04/2008 12:07

We were in the office at 10 last night printing off ds's maths coursework - the printer at home had broken!! And why was it all left until the last minute?!

Even these huge 16 year olds are feeling the pressure now

eatyourveg · 20/04/2010 20:32

My ds sounds like your Mikafan. He's an expert at avoiding doing anything. I thought at first that he didn't know how to revise, we did a big timetable and broke it down into smaller chunks. I bought some CGP workbooks and post it notes to put up on the wall. They haven;t been opened. Today his moan was how could he be expected to write out the 150 geographical terms the teacher has given them to put onto index cards, too many, it would take forever. Then horror of horrors he was expected to write the definitions on the back! The timetable has gone by the wayside and the only thing he is doing is bitesize tests and then if I email them to him so he knows which ones to do. He won't pass with a decent grade if he relies solely on Bitesize and s-cool websites. Anyone recommend any other online sites he could use as this seems to be the only medium he has any intention of using.

Macforme · 20/04/2010 22:43

Been there last year..and the year before... guess what..doing it again this year! (serves me right for having three children in under 3 years!)
DD1... committed, bright.. worked independently and aced her GCSEs (now has a place to read medicine in september and is studying hard for her A levels)
DS1. Did sod all. Had teachers ringing me worried that he was going to fail everything. Ok he ins't as able academically as his sister but he's not daft...just bone idle.

I went for the heavy mode. Downloaded ever past paper I could find and made him do at least one a day then confined him to his room until he'd done 3 hours.
he hated me... right up until the day he respectably passed everything with decent (c+) grades. Ok he's not off to Uni, but he's doing a media course, he has a p/t job...that's all good

DD2... her turn but thankfully pretty much on cue for decent results as working hard.
I think all you can do is support... nag a bit, but know when to let go. In the end it's their GCSEs and if they fail to put in the effort they are the ones who will need to retake.

Turned me grey tho, last year in particular..

Remotew · 22/04/2010 22:39

Bumping because I'm worrying. Anyone else? Sorry not had time to read the thread because of work stress.

Not only do we have the stress of revision etc but the of expense. Prom dress and leavers ball, post GCSE hols. Social life, work v study.

snorkie · 22/04/2010 23:08

I'm a bit worried too. Ds isn't lazy, but isn't scaling back anything extra curriclar & seems to have virtually all his evenings booked out with something or other (often more than one something). He's predicted top grades but I just hope he's not being too complacent. He does get a bit grumpy too if I try & suggest anything - I think that GCSEs happen at an age when hormones are raging & advice isn't often welcome.

Remotew · 23/04/2010 09:49

No point in me nagging. Mine seems to do well by craming a couple of days before each exam. Predicted high grades also but she seems to be stressing already so that may be a good sign, in a way. I will be glad when they are over.

Remotew · 23/04/2010 09:54

Macforme just read your post about DD1, well done to her. That's what my DD wants to go do, so no pressure there .

Can I be cheeky and ask if your DD1 achieved all A* or do we have room for a couple of lower grades. Would really appreciate your advice.

We know what has to be done for A level but am anxious as to how much the GCSE's count as there are so many of them.

Remotew · 23/04/2010 22:38

Bumping but really want some advice.

snorkie · 23/04/2010 22:51

A friemds dd who does medicine didn't get straight As abouteve. She got 7As 3As and a B. I think medicine, although fiercely competitive is a subject where as long as you have mostly A*s it's the extra curricular work experience type stuff you've done that counts more.

snorkie · 23/04/2010 22:53

friend's not friemds

Remotew · 23/04/2010 22:54

Thanks Snorkie. So far so good but she got an A for english language predicted A for lit and mix of A's and As for other subjects, will stop stressing now.

violetqueen · 02/05/2010 19:14

Eatyourveg and Mika fan - same here at our house .
Am begining to think that the more I try - eg forcing him to make revision timetable - the more DS dissembles .
Yes the revision timetable is there ,yes it's a good balance between too much detail and allowing flexibilty for some topics to take longer - but was it just an exercise to get me off his back ,is he following it ?

I too swing between ," you'll find out the hard way " and wanting to keep encouraging ...

bourboncreme · 03/05/2010 10:22

Amusing article in the times today about this.DS has a timetable...but doesn't keep to it,is definately doing the head in the sand method...seems to think that its all down to ability ,no amount of revision will get you an A if you are a B person.Annoying thing is he could be an A/A person but will probably get Bs because "I'm not one of the clever ones".One thing is that hes bored now ,he did start well in March April but I trhink he has got bored now with the whole business,I find all of this quite difficult as I was one of those annoying girls that liked exams and was inseparable from my notes for months before hand.

parentchannelruth · 04/05/2010 09:52

Hello!

Perhaps this exam stress parenting advice film might help- www.parentchannel.tv/video/exam-stress which includes tips on revision strategies and how to support them.

Hope it helps,
Ruth

rose1927 · 07/05/2010 09:58

I just let my teenagers get on with it, no nagging at all. Son at uni now and daughter doing hairdressing. They will be what they will be. We have only had one rule, you either stay in education or get a job and pay rent.

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