Do your 14/15 yo ds let you pick him up from wherever he is with friends?

[Yumyi]

My ds almost completely refuses lifts both to and from anywhere. Especially at night when it is time to come home. How normal is this? I am sure others are allowed to pick up their teenagers without too much push back? We are on a bus route and he is walking distance from most friends so insists he does it all himself.

Yes but I have to promise not to acknowledge or interact with his friends in any way.

even if I stay in the car it’s still not allowed!

Ds 15 knows that he has to follow what we say, or he doesn’t go. Having said that, his best friend’s mum doesn’t drive so we end up taking both of them.

Mine would always rather a lift than having to get the bus! Door to door service and most of their friends are the same. We do live near plenty of bus routes and a station - which they use during the day as I am not a personal taxi but I'd offer lifts after say 8.30pm. And yes we take turns with the other parents. Never known any of either my teens or their friends yo refuse a free lift!!

Yes aria20 that seems more what I thought was normal. Most dc like a lift rather than wait for a bus. But his friendship group seem to think it’s the ultimate embarrassment to have parents give lifts anywhere

Also I'd be suspicious of why if they did refuse a lift? Are they not where they say they are? Are they with bad choice of friends? Up to no good or why else can you not meet their friends or pick them up?

Let me?? He bloody begs me!!

We live rurally, fair enough, but there is a 2 hourly bus (not in the evenings or on Sundays though), and town should be cycleable (it's 5-6 miles away, and there is a quiet back route through the lanes). Despite encouragement, neither of these options have been explored.

I was popular within DD’s friendship group at that age for being the parent that was happy to do lifts!! I’d be suspicious that they’re hiding something that they don’t want parents to know/see to be honest

At that age it would be lift or not allowed to be going.

I am ok with DD taking the bus to go somewhere but she will be collected after 9pm.

She is currently in theatre rehearsal until after 10pm and part of the area is dodgy on a Thursday - Saturday evening so there is no way she is waiting for a bus and then walks home from the bus stop.

Mine is nearly 16, but no, rarely. He gets a lift if he's late or it's raining, but generally, they walk to and from each others houses, the beach, etc.
If they are going further afield we have a very good metro system 5 mins walk away.
His friends are lovely, but I'm expected to pretend they don't exist, even if I'm giving them all a lift, and the car radio has to be off because my music is embarrassing 🤣