What do you think about 16 year old girl having sleep over with 16 year old boy

[TaupeAnt]

My 16yr old daughter wants to have a sleepover with her "best friend" who is a boy. He was described as her best friend for a while, then another boy described as her best friend. Now she's having a sleep over with the first boy. They have been friends since yr3, and are part of a larger group, including girl's twin sister. Usually they all do things together. Is very unusual for the two sisters not to be doing something together. Girl's twin sister made a joke with her dad about it being sexy time, but then said no, it's nothing like that. What do you think? It would be good to get some ideas about how to react to this.

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No from me - too much potential for misunderstandings /pressure.

It’s so so hard. I have a 16 year old. I think I’d be talking about contraception and ensuring they had access to some. Then you cross your fingers and hope they make good choices and remember the values you’ve taught.

Are you referring to your other daughter as girl?

Are you referring to your partner or ex as girls dad?

Did your 16vyear old daughter "girl" really say "sexy time" to her dad?

This is fake, or at the least very very weird.

Hmmmm

What a confusing post-is it your DD who has the girl twin?

Who is making the jokes about sexy time?

Is it still half term?

It’s hard to follow your post op. Is your dd having sleepover with a boy and his twin sister? In which case if they are bunked in together I wouldn’t have a problem.
Just the two of them, I’d probs say no. It’s not just about trusting your dd, do you trust her friends?

True, have been alternating between trying to keep it anonymous but still get all the pertinent points across. Daughter who doesn't want sleepover didn't say "sexy time", that is me paraphrasing what her dad told me.

Very condusing post but rather than just ban her from having sleepovers I would be more inclined to have a conversation with her about their relationship and if it is indeed more than ‘friends’ then a talk about contraception.

At the end of the day if they are in a relationship and they wanted to have sex, they won’t stop just because you said no to a sleepover.

Please re-write it @TaupeAnt , too confusing. They have been friends since yr3, and are part of a larger group, including girl's twin sister. Usually they all do things together. Is very unusual for the two sisters not to be doing something together. Who is "the girl"?

But just on your initial question - my answer would be a firm no.

I’m not there yet with mine so can’t speak from experience but they are over 16 so… I suppose it would depend on:
where the sleepover will take place?
do you know the boy/his family?
have you spoken to her about consent/safety/safe sex etc?
would you rather they have sex somewhere safe (your home) or in a park/outside etc?
they may just be friends and it may be completely innocent but I would have a talk with her before hand esp if he may think there is more to the relationship.
speak to her and make sure that she knows she doesn’t have to have sex/contact with him if she doesn’t want to even if they are having a sleepover. She doesn’t owe him anything.
she hasn’t led him on.
If he is being coercive at all/making her feel guilty to go further she needs to go to the bathroom and call you. You will pick her up and she won’t be in trouble or need to explain anything.

im sure you’ve discussed all this with her but only you know if she is emotionally mature enough.

but if they are going to have sex they are going to find a way.

Hope this helps (I hope I would be calm and rational when the time comes but I may well be saying absolutely NOT🙈😂😂)

Twin daughters. Daughter 1 wants sleepover. Daughter 2 made joke about it being sexy time. "Sexy time" is me paraphrasing what was said and not wanting to put precise wording on website for privacy reasons. Appreciate that "sexy time" is very Borat, but couldn't think of a better way to phrase it in a generic way.

Opposite sex friends of 16 don't need sleepovers - if by that you mean sharing a room.

Yes have a friend over - watch movies/get takeaway (door open) but at some agreed point - when parents go to bed - one of them is off to the bedroom and one the sofa.

Otherwise when you have unwanted pregnancy or accusations/consent issues etc... I wouldn't say you will have only yourself to blame but you would have been foolish in the extreme. Protect both your child and their friend from adult issues until they are 18.

It wouldn't be a straight no from me, but would have a conversation around sex/contraception/consent.
Also are they wanting the sleepover at your house when you're there? If so then make it clear she can come to you any time during the night if she's not comfortable with anything.
You could also make them sleep downstairs in the living room? Or have the boy sleep downstairs with her in her bedroom if you're uncomfortable with them sharing a room.
16 year olds are going to find a way to have sex if they want to so stopping them being alone in her room isn't going to guarantee that they won't, better that she's prepared with contraception and doesn't feel pressured is the important thing.
Also what kind of vibe do you get from them? Just friends or that there's more? Is it possible that one or both of them is gay and therefore no sexual feelings there? Not saying a boy and girl can't be friends but it is unusual

It would be a big hard no from me. Yes, they are legally allowed sex and they can do it in park bushes if they're pressed, but no way i'd be encouraging or facilitating it. PP is correct about being too much potential for misundertandings and pressure.

My DD is 17 and her friends are nearly all male.

She's been sleeping at their houses and they sleep at ours for years. Not even remotely an issue.

However, our situations sound poles apart and I don't think you have nearly enough context, trust or understanding to say yes to this.

Depends on the young people - my ds occasionally had female friends for sleepovers, obviously with the knowledge and permission of parents. He would sleepover at their houses too. Most of his friends were girls, ( and still are ) it was completely platonic.