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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

DD14 Need to get her to listen

6 replies

Forestwalker24 · 06/06/2024 11:33

My dd14 has had an awful time since starting secondary school started with friendships, then bullying. My latest problem with her is she is having problems with teachers now, she isn't a trouble maker but she hates the school and I think this shows when a teacher makes an accusation. She holds grudges and is very vocal about injustice. I've no doubt this shows in her face/body when being spoken too. Her grades have gone from well above average to below. She's very angry that her latest assessment grades are awful but I have explained that this time she done little to no revision. She tells me these grades don't matter and next year when she starts her GCSE's she is going to study and pull them up. My question is with how the teachers feel about her and her hatred of the school will she be able too, how do I change her mindset to what it was when she started secondary school. Her self esteem is low, she thinks she isn't smart enough, did your teenager just click and realise that they can do well even with all the history at the school?

OP posts:
stressedespresso · 06/06/2024 12:04

What accusations are teachers making? It she being disrespectful to them on a whole?

Mischance · 06/06/2024 12:14

How would you feel if you had to go each day and work somewhere you hated and with people who bully you? I honestly think we ask too much of children and young people ... we expect them to endure what we could not. I often ask myself why.
Is there a school that might suit her better nearby?

Forestwalker24 · 06/06/2024 15:05

Mischance · 06/06/2024 12:14

How would you feel if you had to go each day and work somewhere you hated and with people who bully you? I honestly think we ask too much of children and young people ... we expect them to endure what we could not. I often ask myself why.
Is there a school that might suit her better nearby?

I have asked her to move schools countless times, I want her too. She insists on staying at this school. She sees it that she has worked so hard to get strong and fight against the bullies. She's has made her peace with a few and they have apologised for how they treated her.

OP posts:
Forestwalker24 · 06/06/2024 15:17

stressedespresso · 06/06/2024 12:04

What accusations are teachers making? It she being disrespectful to them on a whole?

Something like going into a classroom at break time to collect a snack teacher would kick off at her for being in classroom over break time and it would escalate to an argument as they said she's showing attitude. she gets angry as other kids can go into a classroom but she's the one to get screamed at. So the injustice of the situation. I honestly believe the teachers see her as a trouble maker and have talked among themselves about her. She tells me other pupils get treated better and they have thrown things/called teachers to their face horrible names.

OP posts:
cansu · 08/06/2024 23:36

It is highly unlikely you are hearing the whole story. It is much more likely that your dd is not following rules and is rude when pulled up on this. The complaint about others not being told off only her is higy likely to be nonsense too. She probably is troublesome.
Maybe you need to make the decision that she needs a fresh start somewhere else.

stressedespresso · 09/06/2024 00:33

cansu · 08/06/2024 23:36

It is highly unlikely you are hearing the whole story. It is much more likely that your dd is not following rules and is rude when pulled up on this. The complaint about others not being told off only her is higy likely to be nonsense too. She probably is troublesome.
Maybe you need to make the decision that she needs a fresh start somewhere else.

I would say that this is the most likely scenario and solution, sorry OP

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