Self Centred Teens?

[Savoretti]

I am currently in hospital with my eldest daughter 150 miles away from home.
My other children DS18 and DD14 are at home alone. They have turned down an Auntie or Uncle coming to look after them, though neighbour is in and out checking on them.
DS is fine and worried about his big sis, DD is full of self pity. She doesn’t answer my messages unless it suits her, she won’t answer calls. She has assessments at school this week which is miserable I know without me there for support, but it is like she blames me for this and is punishing me. She’s generally a kind lass but recently has been suffering with a bit of mental health issues and sees a therapist to off load.

Is this a normal reaction? She can’t see beyond her own needs? One moment I feel so cross she is making this about her, and another I feel so sad for her that she feels abandoned, even though of course I have to be with the sick child…
Am a lone parent

Unfortunately that’s how a teenagers brain works; I do wonder if you should over rule them though and say an aunt or uncle is coming anyway as I suspect your 14 year old needs more emotional support than her brother can provide and probably has a lot more fears and emotions going on than are coming across in texts or calls; that’s probably why she won’t answer calls.
Hope your eldest is ok.

Yes this is normal at 14. By 18 they are able to think of the big picture (mostly)

I agree that if she has mental health issues and isn't coping well, then I would go over her head and get someone to come and stay.

thank you so much for your reply. I actually thought the same re overruling her so that’s really helpful to hear….
I also need to know that I must go home
and comfort her with rather than berate her for her selfishness. I need to remember it’s not deliberate