Are all teen girls obsessed with having a Bf?!

[Hye000]

My daughter & her friends are all 12.5, I’ve noticed when her friends come over (separately) all the friends want to talk about is boys and asking my daughter to snap them and ask them if they fancy ‘friend’. Is this normal?! My daughter doesn’t seem bothered by boys at all and finds them all ‘Ugly’ In her words. Is it a puberty thing or what? My daughter is going through puberty but not started her period yet. Maybe the hormones of starting periods? Is it a lack of self worth? I was mortified listening to her friend constantly talk about boy after boy after boy, they showed me the messages between friend & boy and she was practically begging him to be her bf 😭😭😭

anyone else’s preteen/teen like this? Is this normal in this day and age 🥺

My 12.5 and her friends aren’t like this as far as I know, but then they don’t have access to social media which I think helps. They are definitely starting to notice boys and I’m sure they talk about them when I’m not around!

Of course its normal!!

Humans are designed to be interested in sex, its literally what creates us and drives us as a species, we are social animals.

Puberty is when that all starts for the vast majority although girls go through this much earlier than boys. I work with children and the girls are more obessed with having boyfriends, being attractive to boys than the boys are vice versa.

My 13 year old has no interest in the things her peers are interested in.

She isn’t on Snapchat or TikTok, not into make up or skin care, or boys.

periods started at 10.

given how easy it is for young boys to access extreme porn and incel sites I’m happy she isn’t interested, to be honest!

Well back nearly 40 years ago it was normal for me and my friends!

It's perfect normal and probably something to do with that age being peak hormones.

Not ime. Mine is 22 now! and really isn't boy mad, or girl mad either.
As a teen just really didn't like anyone enough.

i was a bit like this as a 12 year old. My own children were not. I have kept them away from social media which I believe has helped.

I don’t know why you assume it’s just girls or just ‘this day and age’. You must have seen films, TV programmes from the past where young people spend a great deal of time thinking about and talking about potential love interests? Going all the way back to Jane Austen and Shakespeare. I think Juliet was just 14?

So, it’s normal and has probably been happening with both boys and girls since the beginning of time. That doesn’t mean all young people are like that. Many aren’t, and that’s normal too. Either because they mature later or because their thoughts are preoccupied with football/video games/music instead. Teens often do things that don’t look sensible to adults. You must have noticed that!

It's always been normal. It's not a new thing!

The reason I asked like that is because I remember being 12 and being asked out by a boy, I said yes just for the sake of it but then I dumped him at the first sign of him wanting to hold hands or kiss 🤣🤣 honestly if you had seen the Conversations I read between them, you would appreciate why im not comparing it to a Shakespeare film… it wasn’t romantic, it was painful and sad to see her friend talk about 3-4 boys, pretty much anyone who looks at her she’s asked them out, they were telling me about one boy who had been bullying her along with some other lads and she messaged him basically begging him to go out with her within about an hour of messaging him she was saying ‘I love you’ 😖 I don’t remember being like that nor any of my friends especially not at 12!

Is it a teenager girls mode or social media or single sex schools? There could be a peer group vibe and all must have a boyfriend or boy contact numbers.

One of my DDs was 14 when she started getting interested, the other was older still, 18 but she's delayed elsewhere too

No, mine weren't, and certainly not at 12.5.

I do think it helped that they had plenty of other stuff to do. Other interests / other things they were involved in. Also, involved in things where there were plenty of boys who they knew as friends and peers and not some sort of strange or different being.

My DS is in Y10 now but in Y7 & 8 he was asked out (via his phone) almost weekly by girls at his school 😄. They do calm down!

That’s good to know! My DD isn’t like this so I can’t see that it’s a MUST amongst the friendship group and no it’s mixed sex high school and they all came from Mixed sex primary school too, I just felt really sad like these girls have no self worth than to be pleaded with any boy that shows them any slight attention. I know that sexual attraction comes but I didn’t think it was there at 12! I don’t remember anyone being like that I’m Year 7, maybe they just have more balls now as it can be done via messages rather than face to face

I remember having my first crush at 9 years old and then again at 11 so definitely not social media driven for me. I wad also pretty busy as a child.

My four have been a mix. Dd2 had her first boyfriend at 10 to 11. Then again at 13 to 14. Dd1 wasn't overly interested but did have a a few boyfriends here and there between 15 and 19. My two sons didn't show much interest.

All of them were super busy with sports, music, homework so that didn't come into it really. I don't think it's social pressure as many of the boys' friends had girlfriends from quite a young age and conversely many of dd2's friends didn't, but she always had 'crushes' exactly like I did at her age. She has never been 'desperate' to have a boyfriend though!

I remember being madly in love with Justin Timberlake when I was about 14+ 😅

At 12 my dd would have been disgusted at the idea. Only since turning 14 has she shown any interest. In her year group that has been pretty much the norm with only the odd girl having boyfriends sooner

I think a lot of the time it's just a phase a rush of hormones, look how much influence they have on us when pregnant or menopause. I assume puberty can impact each girl the same and therefore there may be a wide range of what is "typical", runs and ducks for blaming hormones 🤣

It's completely normal. As a parent when you start to notice kids becoming interested in these things you have a responsibility to start having the conversations about relationships, boundaries, self worth etc.

I remember being like this at that age, and that was loooooong ago so it's not a modern thing! It's just different now with phones etc. I had to go and knock on boy's doors to ask them out 😂

I had my first boyfriend at age 14 and that was later than most of my friends.

I definitely remember being obsessed with a crush at this age and talking about boys with my friend. Normal!

Don't you remember being a teenager? If course you think about boys, that's what hormones do to you.

12yo children shouldn't be using Snapchat.

Of course I remember but I don’t remember it to be like this. There’s a difference between ‘thinking’ about boys and being completely obsessed with talking about them constantly! My DD friend literally talked about nothing else! She spent two days at our house and everytime they were in my ear shot the friend was talking about one boy or another, asking my daughter to message the boys to find out if they fancied said friend or what they would rate her out of 10. I don’t remember this at 12 or even any age to be honest, one thing talking about a boy you are dating and having long conversations about a relationship, she wasn’t dating any of them.

Very true! They wouldn’t dream of having to do that now!