Drunk teen

[Lightdarkshade]

My otherwise sensible 17 year old daughter has just got blind drunk again (fourth time) . She went to a pub with friends from college 10 miles from home. She walked a drunk friend to the station and next thing she knew she had 'fallen asleep' at station, was left there by friends, asleep on platform past midnight (I'm furious about this as my children know you never leave a drunk alone!). She couldn't follow my phone instructions to get a taxi and got on train. She couldn't work out how to get off train. I drove half an hour to pick her up from the main station. She slept on train. Ended up travelling six stops further on from the pick up point. Only woke up because I made a loud beeping noise on find my phones. Still Couldn't work out how to get off train. I called transport police as I had no idea what going on. She Kept going on train. got off at next stop. couldn't work out how to cross platform and return to me, slurring, did get onto road and managed to get into a taxi at 2am. I drove back home to wait for her. She Came home. Threw up in bed. I had to clean up change sheets get her in shower. She Then realised she had lost phone. I Tracked phone to taxi at 3am. driver returned it and said she'd vomitted in taxi. They banned her from taxi company and charged her 100 pounds for clean up (she was stricken in morning as I explained the man had to go home rely and lost his nights earnings because of her).
I've said I don't feel safe letting her go alone on holiday with her friend (I'd already banned her going to a festival). She is upset with me but I really don't think she's safe. She has no control when drunk and is extremely vulnerable in that position. I would have let her go if she didn't behave this way. She has promised not to do it again on previous occasions so she is not exerting self control (she is brilliant at following through in all other areas).
Ive offered her to find her acounsellor to talk through problems/ find strategies, though she insists it's biological problem (I can't hold alcohol and therefore don't drink, so I'm not buying that). I think it relates to friendship problems at moment (her friends are being unbelievable c and even the college has intervened, low level exclusion and bullying).. I think she is using alcohol for Dutch courage and necking it too fast (she previously thought empty stomach was problem but I fed her before she went out this time so a lot of chunks of vegetables on the sheets... ). She knows this is a problem but isn't learning from it, which makes me concerned as it suggests it is out of her control.
What would you do. I'm sure you'd share my concern...

She got herself in a very dangerous situation that she had no control of. I get the impression that she does not fully grasp this and a few reality examples might shock her into realising the danger and what she has put you through.

this morning I sent her a couple of articles written by people who had found themselves in terrifying situations as a result of drinking.

She needs to step away from her friends for a while to break any peer pressure. Nobody should be selling her drink without ID so is she using fake ID? That risks the job of the landlord.
She may have been spiked so have that conversation again too.

She is a very very lucky person. Reading the steps involved I can't believe how many times that pure luck prevented a tragedy.

Al anon may have some helpful resources for you because she has a dysfunctional relationship with alcohol which may or may not be alcoholism.

Yes that's a good point about the ID. She has a fake ID.

She really has no idea quite how dangerous a situation she has got herself into. And the lack of realisation of that is what would worry me the most.

I’d be furious and frightened too. She definitely cannot hold her drink, I doubt she was spiked, but instead just drunk too much, too fast.

I

Exactly

She's a danger to herself at the moment.
Even if you confiscate her fake ID (which you should) presumably her friends will buy it for her. They sound like a toxic and irresponsible bunch of kids.
My DD is the same age but her friends don't go to pubs, they do have parties and drink at home and some of them have got drunk - but their friends have looked after them, stopped them drinking more, got them water etc.
The first rule has to be keep yourself safe. If you're too drunk to get home, are travelling alone, fall asleep on trains etc you're taking very stupid and unnecessary risks.
I'd be reading her the riot act when she's awake - she owes you for the cleaning fee for the taxi and I would be grounding her for the next weekend at least.
It's not therapy she needs it's growing up and taking more responsibility for herself. Until she can manage that she shouldn't be drinking.

she paid the fine herself as it was added to her car payment for the taxi. She did not ask me for it's she actually felt so stricken about the man not being able to work the rest of the night. I pointed out that her drinking was not just endangering her - it was affecting others.
bith my kids have always been so sensible and mature and this is the first time I've ever had any sort of problem with them. I've always given them freedom and they have never abused it. It gives me zero pleasure having to restrict her but I am scared something will happen to her and I don't think she is acknowledging how dangerous her behaviour is.

I think you're right - she has no idea how risky this is.
Have you asked her what she thinks would have happened if you hadn't stepped in.
I'd also be a bit wary that the falling asleep is also dangerously close to passing out, which if you are also vomiting due to alcohol poisoning is a recipe for choking and asphyxiation.

Yes last time did pass out. I have a photo of her comatose on the floor.
luckily her sister was there and called me.
she blacked out as had no recollection of the evening

That's when I forbade permission for the first holiday with friends. she promised never to do it again. Which she has despite knowing there are consequences. Which suggests to me it is out of her control.

Was it just alcohol though? Are her so called friends going this deliberately,? Odd that they abandoned her in such a vulnerable situation. Hope she realises how lucky she's been.

I think the problem is she was with a new group of girls as her 'real' friends were blanking her and maybe they don't feel the same level of responsibility. Also her sister says she didn't appear drunk early on. It seems to have hit later.
that said, my daughter walked a drunk girl to the station to meet her dad so she still felt a sense of responsibility
I really hope the dad didn't see and leave her. I won't even let drunk teens leave my house unless it's in an Uber. I've forced them to stay the night before!

@Lightdarkshade She could so easily have choked to death on her vomit in her sleep.

Every year, people die from this.

It’s a shocking and horrible way to die.

Children definitely do need “educating “ as to not drinking so much,obviously you have tried to do this, but it falls on deaf ears.

At a festival she’d be an absolute liability to herself and friends-
There are men there that would be predatory to someone in that state.

She needs to wise up.
Alcohol is a vile drug.

Your daughter has very shitty friends for sure. Underage drinking aside, who leaves a friend behind?

Ok, so that needs to go. Mine had one, but the only time he got seriously drunk was at home and it wasn’t as bad as your situation - no taxi fine, thank God. He accepted the warning we dished out - grounded if it ever happened again, and it never did - not while he was living at home, anyway. I would have taken the fake ID if he had been stupid again and we kept a close eye on him the first few times he went out - I made sure I was up at 5 when he came in to check on his condition.