DS lives with me and spends Sat night/ Sunday with his dad plus one evening mid week.
I've caught DS vaping a few times since Christmas. I've either found the vape, or he's done it in his room, and the smell is an immediate giveaway. Each time we've spoken about it and I've explained how bad it is yadda yadda. He always denies it, and I get more cross because of the lying. I can't stand lying.
Last conversation was last Friday when I took him out to a cafe and we had a good chat. I am trying to keep things calm because of GCSEs and all was well. Yesterday (Sunday) his dad messaged me to say he suspected vaping. (We are separated but get on v well.) Despite DS telling me Friday he'd thrown it away. Lies..
DS came home from his dad, I spoke to him again and he stormed out and was gone for an hour. When he got back he barricaded himself in his room and said some pretty vile things to me while I was trying to talk to him through the door. I left him to it and watched tv then went to bed. He texted me to apologise but I'm really hurt.
He basically told me I'm a shit mum and that I don't support him or understand what he's going through. I just nag. (GF dumped him two weeks ago.) I'm really trying to be the adult here but I'm struggling. I feel like I've bent over backwards in recent weeks to alleviate exam pressure.
I wake him up, make his breakfast, load his stuff in the dishwasher, make his packed lunch. Then I encourage revision (nag apparently..) make tea, clear up, walk the dog, do the bins etc etc. No expectations on him at all other than exams and revision.
I really don't want to rock the boat mid exams but I dont know how to handle this. He's an only child, we've always been close, I support him and he's close to his grandparents. He's just turned into a horrible child.
He knows he's in the wrong as was v sheepish but after rows in the past I've just smoothed things over and let it go. I don't feel like I can let this go as I may be a lot of things but I'm not a shit mum.
Any thoughts please?