Exam stress

[lovelthesun247]

My son had complete breakdown last night.

He was working all day (with breaks and stopped to eat) but in the evening I was in my room sorting the washing and he came and sat there. Didn't say anything much. I left him sitting for a few minutes and said asked how are you? And he broke down saying he doesn't know if he can go ahead and sit his exams. He said he is feeling really anxious and just doesn't think he's good enough to pass. He knows he has to sit them, just doesn't know if he will manage his stress levels.

Are anyone else's teens struggling to cope with the exam pressure or do you have any advice on how you coped when you were preparing for exams?

Oh I feel for you. My son is also 17 and I've never seen him.look this stressed before, he looks so sad. We hardly ever see him as always studying but I think he feels however well he prepares the papers are going to be full.of content he hasn't focused on. I think the content is so broad there is just so much to consume. I absolutely dread what will happen of he doesn't pass, he'll be in an incredible state. I have no advice, I think we just have to support and be there and absolutely no pressure from us. Hopefully might feel better after first one, hoping so!

Are these his GCSEs? Has he sat end of year exams before?

Ds2 is about to sit his A levels, school have provided a whole document on exam stress so that children know they are not alone. From the document "It is normal to feel a bit worried about exams, especially if you're under pressure from school or family. Exam stress can cause you to feel anxious or depressed, and this might affect your sleeping or eating habits."

It is good that he has opened up to you. If it makes him feel any better Ds1 physically threw up at home before every morning GCSE he sat and again in school for any afternoon exam as he was worried he wouldn't be good enough. He did incredibly well and had no issues like this for A levels. Ds2 is shitting himself about his A levels due to high grade predictions which deep down he knows he can achieve but it doesn't stop the fear.

Remind your son how far he has come, what grades has he achieved from year 10 exams, year 11 mocks etc? Look back over his school reports to remind him where he started. He needs to be able to poke holes in his own thoughts, question them, are they really true? It is proven that a positive mind set does work so he needs a phrase to tell himself the second a negative thought starts. And he needs to remember that an awful lot of children will feel this way and also worry they won't have done enough. It is normal. Best of luck to him.

Thank you both for replying.

My son is doing his A levels and although he passed all his GCSEs, it wasn't with 8s and 9s so he is not naturally academic.

When he talks about his subjects, he's able to talk about them well, however when he writes in exams, he isn't able to express himself as well.

Recently I have felt he's not been putting in enough effort, but from my conversation with him yesterday, I think he is feeling extremely overwhelmed and has had a total breakdown in confidence.

Good luck to your children during this exam period and I appreciate you replying back to me

Mine is the same, just passed his GCSEs, this wasn't helped by being predicted high grades all throughout his school life. He has been putting a lot of work in though this time so I'm hoping it will show him that hard work pays off! If it doesn't I'm lost.

A few points:
. Working 'all day' with breaks and stopping to eat is possibly too much. A decent break at some point for fresh air and exercise will help.
. They are unlikely to be 'not academic' or 'just passed' GCSEs if they qualified to do A levels, so maybe they/you need help reframing their terms of reference.
. The world won't end if they do poorly, if they are aiming for uni and don't meet grades for their firm/insurance they can go into clearing.
. You are proud of them whatever, so make sure they know that.

OP I have just found your thread. I started one just today about my DD17 who is about to start year 13 and is crippled with exam stress and panic attacks. How is your son now?