Daughters first girlfriend

[Needanewjobsoon]

My daughter (15) has been talking about a friend quite a bit the last few weeks and yesterday when we were away from rest of familu/not stressed about school etc I asked if she was a girlfriend friend and my daughter said yes 😊.

I gave her a big hug and said how exciting and can I tell dad... And she was really happy. I've not met this girl but she's a friend from school

My question for mumsnet is really what do I do? Do I ask her how it's going? Do I play it cool? Anything I ought to be talking to her about?

I had a really difficult neglectful childhood and I have no experience to fall back on about "being a supportive parent to older teens". We're completely winging it.

So there's no "issue" it's more I don't know what I'm doing! Instinct is to just be around if she needs me and ask how things are going but I don't know as she doesn't open up tons about personal things (tells me lots about random stuff or lessons etc but not anything about feelings now she's older.)

For added info. Daughter is very bright but also autistic (as it looks likely I am).

Have a talk about respect, boundaries, and consent - both ways!!

The most important thing is keeping the communication open, so she can come to you with any worries or issues.

Another thing to be careful of is not appearing to get too “attached” to the relationship, so there’s no pressure of DD to stay in it.

It sounds like you’re doing a fantastic job so far OP, the fact she told you and you were able to share the excitement is brilliant

Agree with pp, - all spot on points.

Yes will see if we can talk about respect and boundaries. We don't often "have a talk" so will bring it into a conversation in the car at some point.

I know she has seen "sex education" which on one level is far more sex on screen than I think I watched in my whole life up til now - but on another level I think does handle some of the issues of relationships and sex well.

I don't even know what they are doing or if I want to know what they are doing.

I feel a little bit like last week I had a 12 year old and now I've been catapulted into a different stage of parenting...

We do give lifts quite easily so we know where she is and ask for a rough time she will be there currently which is fine as shes not the "out late at night" type. But I just see my future of an older teen coming towards me !

Op try and keep her talking. Explain about the consent and safe sex x

So we've talked a bit. I've tried to ask more about her "what's she like" in a what do you love about her way but apparently thats super cringe and not the done thing!

I started talking about boundaries and she was all "I'm 15 mum! NO!" I did say "well in future..." but I think its a first few weeks of a first relationship and I don't want her to feel pressured into Doing Things cos that's what mum thinks people do (my mind overthinks everything)

She doesnt bring friends back here so I am yet to meet her!