6th form - parental involvement

[Thatisme]

My DC is doing GCSEs this year and it's being a very rocky ride, not so much academically but mostly due to attitude and behaviour. I'm exhausted and all I do just backfires massively. Not a single day goes by that I don't receive a call or an email (or more than one a day) from the school about it. So, my question is: what sort of involvement do parents have in 6th form? Because I cannot possibly continue this way for another two years. I want my DC to grow up and take responsibility over their poor choices. Right now it feels that I'm paying the price. Can I just leave them to it? And if they mess up then it's on them? I know my DC should care about how much stress they're causing me but they couldn't care less so I need to take care of myself.

Behaviour, attitude, being disrespectful, not complying with instructions and rules....normally minor misdemeanour but relentless.

Is the onus on the student in 6th form?

Sounds like they shouldn't be going to 6th Form if they aren't enjoying school.
There are lots of other options......

I doubt he will get into sixth form given this behaviour.

@Thatisme if he pisses around in 6th Form he will be asked to leave.

I've worked in a college in safeguarding - from what I saw, it's completely different, there is far more emphasis on students taking responsibility for themselves and much less parental involvement (this isn't always ideal in my opinion) and parents can struggle with it particularly where there had been a lot of contact from secondary school.
There's something about knowing to step back and where you have to step in. It'll be easier I'm sure though.

Ds1 is in yr 12. He had to sign an agreement before starting sixth form, regarding what is expected of pupils in sixth form, re attendance, behaviour, etc. think possibly parents had to sign too, but the emphasis is much more on the pupil cooperating and choosing to be there. As pps have said, he may not get in, it depends on your school’s policy. Is he considering A’levels? How is he getting on academically and what grades is he predicted to get?

6th form is totally different. I bet he will be different too. I had calls /detentions all the time even up to GCSE, but 6th form barely an issue - the discipline is so much more relaxed. Definitely much more up to the student.

I think it will depend to some extent whether he is going to a school 6th form or a stand alone 6th form college.

If he doesn’t shape up he won’t last in 6th form

I have one that did A levels at a college and it was very much dc responsibility and we had very little involvement or interaction. I now have one doing a levels at school and i have lots of involvement, letters, info and it is strict on attendance. College treats them much more like adults and it suits some.

6th form?
So at the school?
They may just suspend him until exams tbh
And very doubtful he'll get into 6th form with that record

If he goes to a college the onus is on him IME. My DD is good as gold but we have no contact with the college at all and DD emails tutors, sorts herself out etc.

If he wants to stay on at the same schools sixth form, it will be a continuation of what's happening now.

He won't get into college with crap grades though.

Thank you for your replies, they're all very helpful. I think we've come to the stage when we've run out of things we can try to get her to shape up. Academically she's fine and her predicted grades are 7-8 in most subjects. She can do very well when she applies herself and yes, I agree that if she doesn't enjoy school then she shouldn't go to 6th form, but it's for her to work this out. I'm glad to hear that 6th form will leave it up to her. It's time she takes responsibility over her choices. You can take a horse to water......as they say.

His behaviour won't make a difference as to whether he gets accepted into sixth form, grades are the only criteria they are allowed to use in state schools as far as I know. However, he will get thrown out if he carries on as he is at the moment, but you never know, he might turn it around if he has chosen to be there and is studying his favourite subjects. Make it clear to him before he starts that he doesn't have to be there, he could get an apprenticeship or go to college instead.

Was it with the same school or did they mobe for 6th form?

If she wants to go to the sixth form at the same school they may reject her if they are fed up with her.

Some of them do grow up at a levels.

School sixth forms have more contact than colleges but both are less than GCSEs.

They can and will kick them out in year 12 if attitude/behaviour/grades are not good enough. Most then restart elsewhere having learnt a lesson.

There's a big shift at 6th form.
DD goes to a large, very well thought of college - several kids were expelled in the first term for breaking the codes of conduct.
There's also quite a lot of growing up that happens plus teachers have a different relationship with their students

Personally I think it’s worth shunting them through their GCSEs as best as possible as they’re difficult to resist.

But back off at sixth form, they’re older and should hopefully be a bit more mature. If they’re thinking of uni they need to be able to study independently. They can resit A levels.

We don’t hear much from DS’s sixth form so assume things are ok.

Resit.

Maybe encourage them to go to 6th form college. I get almost no communication from DS2’s college whereas when DS1 was in school 6th form I got loads of automatic emails - including every time he was set an assignment.

@Thatisme this was a school move, which really helped, but seems a general experience. Even encouraging a choice of options helped.

One bit of advice, check if the teen is getting the same emails as you. It didn't occur to me that emails wouldn't be sent to both of us, so I didn't pass them on for a term! I found that pretty odd seeing as he was 16 and had signed up for college himself.