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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

worried about my niece

4 replies

helenamayward · 07/04/2024 13:25

my niece is 14 years old (my brothers daughter) , I'm really worried about her wellbeing , we took her ice skating a few months ago and she left the house crying and being shouted by her parents , that started things really , her mum can be so shouty and horrible sometimes to her , this easter holidays , my daughters told me that she hasn't been replying to the messages on their snapchat group chat because she 'was on it for to much ' and her dad(my brother)took her phone away and she only has it for 5 minutes a day timed at 6 pm ! . i have noticed that my niece has a very on off relationship with her mum , sometimes very close sometimes not . she told me last year she has a boyfriend who's in the year above at school in November time and they had been together quite a while, and she not told her mum and dad about. the other week we were going out for a lovely family meal and my daughters said she had already planned her outfit and then my niece told them that her mum said she wasn't allowed to wear it and instead her mum chose her clothes . these are honestly just a few examples of the situation . My niece is a really pretty glamourous girl , she's not very academic and they have paid for tutors but they don't really do much for her , we have been all together at a family gathering and her mum has embarrassed by mentioning her bad grades to the whole family . her mum doesn't allow her to shave her arms which my daughters think have really knocked her confidence all the time she wears cardigans and try's to cover her arms up as much as she can ,her she really lacks confidence partially i would say because of her mum , she has a few close friends but is really insecure and just down i think , she is an only child of parents who obviously love her but don't treat her kindly and gently they are so harsh on her .
I'm just worried about her, my daughters (who by the way are 19 and 20)have encouraged her to try and make more friends and be closer to girls in her year but we live far away and don't come don't much meaning we only see them 5 or so times a year plus a family holiday .

OP posts:
Isyesterdaytomorrowtoday · 07/04/2024 13:27

Could you offer her to come a stay on her own for a week or so in the holidays? Some space sounds like it’d be good for her

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 07/04/2024 13:30

None of that what you said sounds anything concerning.
They have different rules to you, they are stricter. Remember your going off what your niece says you're not there 24/7 you really don't know what goes on in reality.

Isyesterdaytomorrowtoday · 07/04/2024 13:55

I wouldn’t allow the arm shaving either but the rest sounds ott to me

AssassinsEyebrow · 07/04/2024 14:00

I agree about having her to stay for a break.

My mum would be the same about arm shaving but mine are very hairy! As an adult I use hair removal cream every few weeks (& would recommend that over shaving tbh)

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