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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Discussions with parents about an SO

3 replies

CarreeCitronnade · 05/04/2024 18:49

Hiya lovely people of Mumsnet.

To begin, I'm a teenage girl (16) and I've been with my boyfriend (also 16) for just over six months. I'm terribly sorry to infiltrate your forum, but you guys seemed like the best place to ask. He's absolutely lovely and I couldn't ask for anything more; however, I'm yet to tell my parents about him in the context of him being a significant other, and I've no idea how to go about this - they know of him as one of my friends, but nothing more, and they've only ever seen him from a distance in choir performances and similar events. In contrast, I've met both of his parents and some of his extended family (although the latter was accidental), and they're well aware of the fact that we're dating.

To return to the issue at hand, every time I've come close to telling my parents about him, I shy away from it. I have a relatively open relationship with my parents, but there's something about this that I don't feel comfortable talking about with them. I don't know, I think I dislike the idea that they'll know that I'm not their little girl anymore? For context, both my boyfriend and I are straight-A students, or close enough to, and we have no intention to participate in sexual activities. We don't drink, smoke, do drugs, etc, so I'm not worried about what they'll think of him. I worry that they'll laugh at me, and say that the relationship won't last - which, granted, it probably won't, we're teenagers, and teenage relationships don't usually last, but that doesn't mean I want to hear that spelled out with mocking laughter attached.

If it were entirely up to me, I'd continue hiding it and just deal with that regret myself, but prom is rapidly approaching after GCSEs and we have intentions to go together - how many of you would think absolutely nothing of your daughter going to prom with a boy? I doubt that the answer is high.

Honestly, if anyone has any advice regarding this, I'd be truly grateful. It doesn't seem unreasonable to tell my parents, I just find the idea utterly terrifying. Should I even tell them? Thank you for reading this mildly incoherent post, and thank you for taking the time out of your day to attempt to decipher it. I hope you're having a lovely day ☺️

OP posts:
iateallthebiscuits · 05/04/2024 19:39

Hi- welcome to Mumsnet!

If you feel shy about making a formal announcement to them then maybe you could just let them work it out for themselves? I'm sure if you tell them enough that you're meeting dear bf today, going to his house on Sunday etc they will quickly realise you are seeing him more than usual, esp if it's alone and I'm sure will eventually ask if he is your bf? :)

Ponderingwindow · 05/04/2024 20:12

Hey, <insert names for parents here>. Prom is coming up and <guy> and I have decided to go go together. Can you help me find an <dress/suit/whatever you want to wear>?

they will inevitably ask if you are dating and you say yes, the friendship has definitely turned romantic.

if they are smart parents they will want to have a safer sex talk. Tell them your plans, but ultimately, put up with it. Even though you aren’t planning on having sex. It’s what parents have to do.

CarreeCitronnade · 05/04/2024 20:52

Thank you both, that's really helpful! Based on the advice given, I think I've decided that I won't keep him a secret, but I'll drop hints (like those mentioned) and hope that works. Thank you again!

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