Drinking alone

[picklemepink]

My 19yo has just come home with four beers and a take away. He's opened his first beer and I said I hope he's just having one with his food. He says he might have them all while watching the football.

He was out drinking last night. He has no plans for tonight yet, but no doubt that will change. And I'm sure if he's not out tonight, he'll be out drinking tomorrow.

Am I wrong to feel uncomfortable with the idea of him sitting drinking in his bedroom?

Do others teens do this?

It sounds fairly normal for many young adult men, and at 19 that's how I would consider him.

Doesn't hurt to keep an eye on his levels of drinking if you are concerned. But four beers with a meal while watching football Doesn't sound like concerning behaviour to me.

Most teens I know these days are not really into drinking but for a 19 year old that likes a drink. 4 beers with a takeaway on a Bank Holiday Friday sounds fine to me. If he is alone I would ask him to watch the football and eat his takeaway etc downstairs tho rather than in his room. But thats not alcohol related just its more social.

Four beers with a takeaway sounds fine. It's not like he's necking a bottle of vodka.

What if he just wants to chill pit on his own? There's nothing wrong with wanting to sit on your own to enjoy a takeaway and a beer!

OP I often have some wine on my own in front of the telly. It's fine!

Well if he wants to sit in his pit alone then he can but doesn't stop me asking if he would like to sit downstairs. I didnt say I would force him I said I would ask him. Always good for then to have options and know they dont have to be alone if they dont want to

I said I hope he's just having one with his food.

Fuck me. At 19 I would have downed the lot as a response to that

He might be connected to friends whilst watching the football and drinking the beers, like a social occasion. But if not, it doesn't matter.
I dread to think how much my son drank whilst at university but I know it was way in excess of healthy limits.

Just because he's 19 doesn't mean his room is a pit. Maybe it's his sanctuary. If you live with other people it's sometimes nice to have some time alone.

Not sure but it seems like your parenting skills are sub par and maybe social services needed intervening at a younger age.

No it doesn't. My 16 year olds room is the tidiest room in the house. It was you who called it a pit I was just mirroring your terminology in response to you.

I've no issue with him drinking in general. He's always at parties, gigs, weekends away, and out socialising in general

It's just that drinking alone is new, and not something I really considered teenagers doing.

I think I was just a bit concerned that there was a reason behind it.

So thanks, the responses are reassuring.

I don't think drinking alone is necessarily concerning. The intent behind drinking alone is what matters. Having a drink because you like the taste is very different from wanting to get blotto on your own because you hate the world and the world hates you. Plus, as a PP said, he may well be connecting with mates via SM or games whilst he's drinking - that wouldn't be my choice but it's not the same as drinking on your own.

Forgive any typos - I'm sitting in a bar on my own! ( Waiting for a flight and I've no head for booze, one drink goes a long way with me!!)

Is he alone though? Mine often have a video call when watching the football and all will have a beer and chat about the match.

I wouldn’t worry, just sounds like he wants to relax and watch the game.

I have to agree with you OP. My eldest DD is 19 and if she were to start drinking on her own I’d find it strange. To me alcohol is more of a social thing, drinking in excess alone points to using it as a coping mechanism but judging by the other replies that’s just me it seems!

I never drank alone at 19. It was always a social thing at that age and would find it strange to be drinking alone. I think it's healthy as a social thing but weird to be sat alone drinking.

Good to see that I'm not completely alone in considering this unusual.

However, I appreciate I see it that way based on my late teens, and many, many things have changed since then!

Anyway, he only had one, and has since gone to the pub with his mates.

Thanks all.

I didn't. It was a typo. Should have read "chill out on his own. Apologies for the confusion.

I still maintain that sometimes people do like to spend a bit of time alone- at any age. And an adult can drink some beer alone with a takeaway and the telly without it being a cause for concern.