Need to fucking vent.

[Trickofthetrade]

I have spent my weekend as usual cleaning the house , washing , walking the dog, ironing, and then spent all afternoon cooking a roast. My husband has spent the weekend doing the garden and ferrying our 14 year old around to various football matches and events. No appreciation from said child. Our 16 year old has been in her room all weekend . Never wants to do anything with any of us .Everyone sat down for the roast that I'd spent hours prepping . Ten minutes in the two kids started fighting and the meal lasted about 12 mins . This happens most wknds without fail. I've had enough .I am never cooking a roast dinner again. I wish I was on a desert island with a pina colada.

I second you on the pina colada, great choice.
As for the roast, don’t bother unless you really enjoy it.
I’d have demanded a thank you from the little footballer too.

We've moved your thread over to the Teenagers topic, as requested @Trickofthetrade.

Hope that helps and we also hope you're onto your second Pina Colada by now too...🍹

My 16DD is the same re not spending time. But she loves a roast. She then eats it super fast and goes up to her room.

Aggravating.

What about cooking a pasta instead?

Or cooking a roast for you and hubby and giving them a frozen pizza? That they heat up themselves.

Might make them play nice!

Don't spend so long on a normal meal again unless you enjoy the process of cooking it its not worth it if its not appreciated by those you do it for.

DS doesn't thank me for every lift, it would be a bit weird if he did, he is my son not a colleague or neighbour but is generally appreciative of the time I spend facilitating his sport so I dont get wound up about individual thank yous for individual actions.

Put your feet up, have a drink and next weekend plan in some you time and bung a pizza in the oven.

A thank you for lifts takes no time or effort.
They should care and show appreciation.
My dd is a pain. But at least she does say thank you for lifts.

Can you leave them with grandparents for a week and go off for a weekend somewhere?

Do either of the do any chores? If not then maybe it's time they did, make them appreciate exactly what you both do for them.

I grew up with 3 cousins, @Trickofthetrade

They fought like animals. I had siblings too, but my cousins were on another level - they had vicious brawls. Horrible knock down physical fights.
Once, my cousin had to get 30+ stitches as a result of being pushed into a glass table by her siblings.
But now, as adults, they are the most loving and close people I’ve ever seen. I don’t know how they did it - but they did. And they’re extremely close.
There’s hope. You’ve gotta have hope.

I hate that feeling of being totally un appreciated.

DH was away with DC3 and DC2 for the weekend, got home on Sunday evening for supper which pretty much immediately was ruined by DC1 picking fights with her siblings.

I used to send them away from the table if they weren't stop.

Urgh I feel your pain OP. My 14yo has been in a stroppy stage for nearly 2 years now. This morning I got stropped at for waking her up like she asked me to. I get a break from the fighting and bickering now as my other DC has gone to university, but that sucks too.

It’s normal for them to disappear off them to their rooms - just leave them to it and enjoy the break.

That's self obsessed teens for you. Same here. I had abdo surgery on Thursday, back on my feet by Friday evening and DS has assumed I can just keep going.

I had to insist that he pushed the trolley round the supermarket for me on Saturday and carried in the bags.

He's genuinely a nice child, just wrapped up in his own world. You need to spell it out for them - Shorts words. Big letters. 🙄

Yes, this resonates with me!
Mine are adults now but I do remember that things had to spelled out.
I started regular family meetings, sometimes with an agenda that they could add to, so that it wasn't always me moaning at them.
Sometimes there was a list of chores and we'd discuss how to divide them up, they didn't always stick to it, but they did become accustomed to the idea that there were no house fairies and they needed to contribute.
I made it clear that with a bad back, I was not going to be pushing a heavy trolley round the supermarket by myself, nor would I be unloading it and putting it away. They did sort out between themselves who would be doing what, and the fact that they were asked to suggest solutions to problems did help them take ownership.
It wasn't a perfect solution, and there was some complaining, but they did come to appreciate what their father and I did for them.
I tried to make it a bit transactional too- yes we can give you a lift but that will take an hour out of my busy evening, so can you please make sure you help me out by doing x before we leave.
But teenagers are often self obsessed and lazy, and need to have structure and systems in place . Mine were messy but did understand that they were expected to contribute- the argument was never that they didn't see why they should do x or y , but more that they forgot/ had something else on/ felt one of their siblings should do it.
I do recommend family meetings!