16 year old birthday party alcohol??

[mothermayai]

We're allowing our teen a (chaperoned we'll be around the house too) 16th birthday celebration with friends (c.25-30). Want to provide some alcohol to avoid them bringing their own or turning up totally wasted. Anybody done this and have tips on what alcohol might work? Am thinking some beers and those tinned G&T type things??

We provided low alcohol beer and fruit cider (you can find 2% bottles) and I made jugs of cocktail that were mainly lemonade and fruit juice with a little bit of vodka.

Want to provide some alcohol to avoid them bringing their own

I don't think providing alcohol would prevent any bringing their own. It would just mean more alcohol total.

Sorry no I don't think you should supply alcohol to teens 2 years under the legal limit to drink.
I know some teens drink mine doesn't and I would be angry if she were supplied alcohol at a teen party.

You are responsible for them in your home.

To 15 year olds?

Maybe I don't understand the law as other pp have mentioned it is not illegal however they are still too young. Some teens may never have had alcohol before, and I don't think this type of party is a good way to do it.

Why does anyone need alcohol? Truth is they don't. But they want it. As do 16 year olds.

OP I always allowed alcohol at that age (4 kids). Parents were told and provided non alcoholic versions for those not allowed it.
My kids all grew up with a healthy attitudes alcohol, as well as knowing their limits. We used to go with the little bottles of weak lager from Aldi (and my grown up kids still refer to having a "Bier de France)!

Makes perfect sense to me.

The legal drinking age limit in the U.K. is 5.

And she would not be supplying alcohol as she is not (presumably) a licensee. She is serving it in a private dwelling, so not unlawful at all.

I don't know when it is legal or not to supply alcohol to a minor who is not your own child - but it is still completely unacceptable. You don't give alcohol to other people's children without their parent's agreement - that's basic IMO.

On these threads it is also always worth remembering that all the research shows that those who are given alcohol early drink more and are more likely to have issues with drinking.

Basically, parents who push alcohol raise kids who drink more alcohol. Pretty obvious.

If you want to buy alcohol for your child, it says something about your own relationship with alcohol IMO.

My dc (15) recently attended a 16 Yr old birthday party and the host parents supplied 2ciders or beers each. They had a great time and there were no issues, the parents asked permission from the other parents and stayed in the home - I think that is the key really at that age.

I wouldn't supply it but round here certainly, 15 and 16 year olds certainly drink at parties. Many bring crates of beer with them (I've heard!) - presumably supplied by parents.
Many of my friends would supply alcohol at parties "to stop them drinking too much". That rarely goes well.
I don't know the parents of my teenagers friends so I just have to instil into them to be sensible around alcohol and drugs if they go to parties.

This!!! Are you also going to supply the weed and the bedroom for sex?

They all drink at parties at 16 and it’s naive to think they don’t. Of course they do. I know I did at that age. I think it’s better to make sure they’re drinking safely in a controlled environment (limited lowish alcohol drinks, plenty of mixers and soft options) that them swigging vodka stolen from a parent’s liquor cabinet down the park.

Get some no alcohol beers/ wine that look like ordinary beer/wine then any kid who doesn't want alcohol can drink too

Just FYI we had a neuroscientist come and talk to parents at school about a number of different things. But one of the main things I took away from his talk is that all evidence shows that the earlier you have your first drink, the more likely you are to struggle with alcohol throughout your life.

And this scientist said that of course he knows that the perceived wisdom, for many years, has been that letting kids drink at home in a controlled environment, at a slightly younger age, helps to build a healthy relationship with alcohol, but that all evidence shows the opposite. Any amount of alcohol is damaging to a developing brain.

@Newsenmum ooh good ideas, "weed" and "bedrooms for sex". I'll add them to my list, thanks knew posting for advice would be a good shout.

The one time I went to a party where the parents had provided alcohol I ended up unconscious in hospital. The parents were upstairs supposedly supervising, the alcohol they provided wasn’t strong, but no one was checking how much anyone actually drank.
My DDs never had parties at home, nor did I provide them with alcohol when they went to other parties. DD1 at 16 did manage to convince me she was staying overnight with a friend and would only be going to the cinema. Seems the friend’s parents were Ok with them hanging out on the streets instead and the other girl left my DD on the street vomiting then being picked up by the police and being brought home.
parents who encourage drinking alcohol in teens are crap parents IMO who think they’re their child’s ’best friend’.

No they don’t, and it’s ridiculous to think they do.

My DC weren't drinking at that age ; one was hospitalised after a 16th with too much alcohol and too little supervision. The best solution is to confiscate alcohol that is brought to the party ( return at the end) , provide 2 low alcohol drinks per child with parents' permission and if they want it and to supervise carefully. Any less of a watchful attitude is a bit irresponsible imo.

At a 16th birthday some of these kids are going to be 15 still.

I would not be supplying alcohol for 15/16 year olds without their parents permission and that is not going to be possible with the numbers you are talking about. But then I was not a "cool" parent.

Chances are some will drink and you, as it is your home/party and you are the responsible adult, need to manage that, with those numbers at least one "cool" kid will try to sneak in a bottle of vodka. How are you planning to handle that?

How do you plan to ensure a, or several, drunk, adult sized and perhaps belligerent/argumentative child(ren) get home safely? Or will you just let them leave at night under the influence of alcohol and hope for the best? Or is that not your responsibility either?

Too much "cool" parenting and shrugging of responsibility going on with these types of house parties. Holding a party for that many 15/16 year olds knowing they will drink is madness. You would be better off at a venue where alcohol will not be allowed or a smaller more manageable party at home with close known friends only.

I've always taken the attitude that the better your relationship is with your child, the better the communication. You also have to be realistic. 16 year olds 9/10 times are going to want to drink with their peers. When I was 16, I was too scared to approach my parents about this, so did it in secret, on a park and went silly with it - leaving me drunk and vulnerable and no adults aware of my state or my location. My son came to me at 16 and said he had been invited to a party where there would be alcohol and an adult present and asked of he could go and also said he wanted to have a drink like his friends. We sat and had a chat about the dangers of alcohol, not only on your body, specifically a young person's vulnerable organs etc, but the negative effect it can have on decision making etc. We agreed that he could go and could have 2 beers. At 9.30pm he called me from the party for a chat, told me he felt a bit tipsy and wanted me to hear him to see if he sounded ok/coherent etc and asked if he could have 1 more. I explained that the one more might have a big impact and he then, of his own volition, decoded that as he was planning on walking home at about 10.30, didn't think ot was a good idea as he didn't want to walk home alone and not have his whits about him.

Because he knows I'm fair and reasonable, he speaks to me about everything and respects my input - so of I tell him something is a hard no, he doesn't so much as question it.

I think parents who get hysterical about teenagers drinking underage are far more likely to have children that wind up putting themselves in dangerous situations.

I have young adults and they've very rarely been to a 16+ party where there wasn't alcohol. Those who weren't allowed to drink were more likely to be the ones throwing up in the sink at the end of the night.
It's also worth remembering that these days, teens and 20 somethings drink a lot less in general than our generation did. Back in the 90s the pressure to drink to excess was insane. Nowadays it doesn't matter whether you drink or not, most friendship groups will have some who drink and some who don't and they won't be ostracised or seen as dull for not joining in. So a couple of glasses of Smirnoff Ice at a party at 16 is not going to turn your young person into a raging alcoholic by 30.

But this is literally an example of you not providing alcohol and not hosting and your DD ending up drinking in the street and being picked up by the police! Exactly what the Op wants to avoid. What makes you think your way is better if to your dd had to lie to you and ended up being left vulnerable?

Honestly OP sounds like she’s only going to be offering a few drinks to the some 16 year olds at a party, not supplying class a drugs to them 🙈

Congratulations to you if your DC are all super sensible and have never / will never drink at a party but in my experience most do but trying to manage that rather than them smuggling it in is a much more sensible option.

And i hate ‘don’t be the cool mum’ trope on MN. It’s really nothing of the sort. 16 year olds drinking at parties is hardly something new or outrageous.

And i hate ‘don’t be the cool mum’ trope on MN

Yeah I really only ever see that on here. In real life I don't know a single parent who thinks like that.