What do you miss most about having small children ?

[funkmonke]

And if you could go back, what would you do differently?

Close physical contact

I really needed to read this tonight! Feeling nervous about having them home for the Easter hols as it’s stressful, and trying to look for jobs to end my era as a SAHM..need to make sure I enjoy this time whilst it lasts (3 and 6 year old).

How joyous they were over small stuff. The last one is now a 6ft 3" teenager and although he still drapes himself over me for a hug and a kiss there's a fair amount of surliness at times that goes with it.

Ours are 4,6 and 9. The 4 year old, DS2, was very tired tonight. He had his PJs on and had got into his bed. His eyes kept closing and he started to cry. I gave him a cuddle and asked him why he was crying and he said 'My eyes are being naughty and won't stay awake mummy. I have told them to but they are just naughty.'

After tea, I thought I deserved a kitkat with my coffee. There were none in the tin which was a bit odd as there were about 4 this morning.I said 'Oh they've all gone.' A little voice piped up assertively from the playroom, (DD 6) 'That's because Daddy ate 3 before tea'
DH 'No I didn't'
DD 'You did Daddy, I counted.'

I'll miss little things like this.

Farm days 😍 I miss the simple and wholesome days out so much

We found a sleepy bee hitching a ride on one of DS hex bugs once.
Tbf even as teenagers they are still interested in trying to revive bees with sugar water

...but I miss the simple things that kept them amused for hours (away from screens!) I remember one glorious summer day - they were about 2 and 5 - and I'm pretty sure they spent almost the entire day sliding down a (second hand) slide into the paddling pool. I put some washing up liquid on it to make it faster and they loved it

...but even still, I find them (so far) easier as teens than as toddlers

They were very cute to look at.
They were in bed around 8 so DH and I used to have evenings alone together!

Honestly? Nothing! I had such a hard time in the early years I struggle to look back on those days without feeling traumatised.

They don’t have a care in the world and just get on with life whilst making everyone smile at the same time because they say a funny sentence or ask an interesting question.

And they are just cute!!

I'm the midst of it right now with a 4yr old and a 2yr old. I have honestly found it so hard that I find myself willing them to grow up and hoping it gets easier.
The utter total reliance on you, never getting a break, no headspace ever. Eyes on the back of your head, no sleep. As a pp said the reading the same books over and over -pp looks back on this fondly, I just did it tonight and felt myself become irritated! I didn't show it, I never would and I love them and yes they are cute but god it's hard too. People look back with rose tinted glasses.

The thing I love the most is the puppy fat on their face and the way their lips curl round. There's nothing like it. My 2 year old is absolutely gorgeous! I could just look at him for hours on end. My 4 year old is gorgeous too but doesn't have the cutsie baby face anymore, he's got a proper big boy face now...wahhh!
But yeh I won't miss the multiple night wakings to feed, being squished in-between them because they don't sleep on their own beds :D

Nothing tbh, we are often out and about or on holiday and I see people wrangling small children and think “thank goodness we don’t have to do that any more”. I might be cheating though as I get small person cuddles from my GD but I am happy to hand her back at the end of the day.

I should have added I love teenagers, they are so much fun to be around and watching them grow into the adults they will become is fascinating. Mine were a pretty easy bunch though.

I love that little waddle when they first start to walk. And that feeling when they cuddled into you. I loved that I was their whole world really for a time. I got so much love 💕 totally worth the work.

The absolute innocence and joy in the most simple of things. Seeing them discover something for the first time.

I have two teenager sons - almost 14 and 16. It makes me feel sad when I see photos of them as small children; when they were cute and needed me.
But I also have a 3 yo and I cherish every moment because I realise just how quickly each stage passes!

I agree - the trust that we could fix/sort almost anything.

To a degree my 7 year old still expects this/expects me to know everything

Cuddles. Little chubby hands. Dandelions and screams of laughter. Those curly wisps of hair. As the saying goes the days felt long but the years were so short.

Coming downstairs in the evening totally knackered after being run ragged all day when they’re finally asleep, smelling gorgeous and fresh after bath, teeth and story, in clean pjs, tired after a mostly happy day, well fed and exercised and snuggled up in a safe warm bed. Best feeling ever!

As opposed to later on shouting at the mingers to get in shower for gods sake, brush your flipping teeth, stop filling yourself up with junk, get off the bloody PlayStation and go to the gym, and where the hell are you, it’s 1am!

Also the noise, which is an odd one as having 4 DC, I used to long for peace and quiet. Now they’re all mostly on headphones or out and the house is often ghostly silent which I hate!

Cuddles

and crazy plans. Like needing to build traps around the house That were really just piles of toys and junk.

Armpits, soft and smooth like the rest of their bodies. Not stinky and hairy.

Seeing something you knew they were going to love, just before they saw it or you pointed it out to them. A big digger, the bin men, a lizard or ladybird. The joy was real.

Deciding unilaterally on a day out, without having to deal with people not being ready and talking about how lame it would be. Taking a detour to somewhere with goats or alpacas and everyone being amazed.

If I could go back I would worry less about doing big experiences with small kids, the two year old does not need to go to Disney world, he was happy walking along a log, and I would definitely go more places with goats or alpacas as no one really wants to see them any more.

The laughing, at things like lego character voices, the one scaredy duck that used to be afraid to dive in off the side of the bath, the semi suspicion (but ending up laughing anyway) at being subversive around plots of things like The 3 Bears or words of the Phonics songs ("Kites are flying in the sky, K-K-K/ Kites are flying in the sky, K-K-K/ Kites are flying in the sky; one hit me in the eye/ Kites are flying in the sky. K-K-K")

I kind of miss the small sized and different clothes in the washing (compared to cycling school uniform all the time).

Things like the love of Christmas but not the very materialistic driven stuff - really loving just the choice of bobble hats (child and parent) and fairy lights in town, say.

I miss that it was easier to fix problems for them.
I miss that all it took was an ice cream or pizza to cheer them up, bribe them to comply etc.

I mostly feel like my nearly teen finds me annoying. We tiptoe around her moods half the time.

So much. Sitting together reading stories, them telling me about their very complicated games at great length, cuddles all the time.

The main thing I’d do differently is just enjoy it and stop worrying. I wasted so much time fretting about whether I was getting things right, about the fact I was making compromises in my career to be with my children and compromises with my children for my career- I should have just relaxed and enjoyed it more.

On a more practical note, I wish I’d slowed down and given them more time in a very micro way. I don’t have many videos of them when small (before smartphones etc) but when I see the ones I have, I’m always too quick to swoop in and do things for them rather than give them enough time. So tidying crayons into the box you’d see me saying “can you put that in here” then 3 seconds later I’ve jumped in and done it myself. A slower pace would have been better.

It is also mind-boggling to me that I occasionally encouraged DS to pick a short book at bedtime, to hurry things up. I’d give thousands of pounds to have just five minutes back there reading him a story.

The best lesson from all of this is that in 20 years I’ll look back on now as I do then, so I should slow down and really listen when DC are telling me about some complicated spat between tiktokers 😂